


Tangled Roots

by ashleyerwinner



Series: Tangled Roots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Growing Up Together, Kid!Castiel, Kid!Fic, M/M, kid!Dean, teenage!Dean, teenage!castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 12:44:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1347919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleyerwinner/pseuds/ashleyerwinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Castiel ever sees Dean, he has a bucket on his head. He’s running around, making beeping noises, and Castiel, even at four, is concerned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Angels and Robots

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how long this will be but bear with me I love kid!Dean and kid!Cas and the thought of them growing up together! Enjoy! xox

The first time Castiel ever sees Dean, he has a bucket on his head. He’s running around, making beeping noises, and Castiel, even at four, is concerned.

He’s sitting by the pre-k teacher’s side, nervous as ever in a new place. And with all of these strange children running around him, he feels overwhelmed, even scared. The teachers keep urging him to go make friends, but he presses his face into his hands and pretends to be invisible. He doesn’t know how to make friends. He’s never had one.

But the boy with the yellow bucket on his head intrigues him, and he watches him run around, wondering how on earth he’s able to avoid running into anyone or anything with the thing on his head.

And he’s also wondering why the teachers aren’t saying anything to him.

He watches Dean for a long time, until Dean pulls the bucket off of his head and smiles at him.

He hides his face in his hands, and becomes invisible.

“D’ya wanna play robots?” A small voice says beside him, and Castiel looks up into big green eyes. He’s mad at this boy for being able to see him even when he’s invisible, but he doesn’t say anything. The boy with the big green eyes smiles at him happily, waiting for him to answer.

“I’m not a robot,” Castiel says finally, and Dean laughs.

“I’d get ya if you were. Don’t you wanna pretend with me?” Castiel feels his face get hot.

“No one plays with me,” he says, and the boy reaches out his hand.

“I’m askin’ ya to play with me!” He says, and Castiel stares at his hand for a minute. The boy sighs and puts the bucket on his head again.

“My – name – is – Dean,” he says in what Castiel assumes is a robotic voice, and pulls off the bucket again, laughing. Castiel finds himself smiling along with him.

“My name is Castiel,” he says, in his normal voice, and Dean makes a face.

“Castiel? That’s a funny name.” He says, and Castiel’s stomach starts to hurt.

“It’s not funny. I’m named after an angel,” he says, pouting, and Dean gasps.

“A angel?!” He exclaims, and Castiel flinches back in his chair. “We could play angels and robots! You be a angel, and I’ll be a robot, and we can go beat up bad guys and save the day!” His voice is full of excitement. “What d’ya think, Cas?” The boy looks up at him expectantly.

“Who’s the bad guy?” Castiel answers, and Dean grabs his hand and pulls him off the chair.

“Let’s pretend Gordon is the bad guy,” he says, dragging Castiel along, and puts the bucket back on his head.

“Does Gordon know we’re playing?” Castiel asks, and Dean giggles underneath the bucket.

“He’s – gonna – find – out,” he replies in his robot voice, and runs off. Castiel smiles, and runs after him, grabbing a building block to use as his angel sword.

He finally has a friend.


	2. "C" and "D"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “C’mon, Cas, let’s go sit down on the carpet. You can sit on the letter “C” and I’ll sit on the letter “D”, ‘kay? Like our names, right? Cas and Dean?” He doesn’t let go of Castiel’s hand until they’re sitting down, and by that time, Castiel is too happy to remember why he was crying in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a nanny, and I used to work in a daycare, as the pre-k teacher, so I'm pretty in love with this fic already! Enjoy!

Pre-k is bearable for Castiel because of Dean. Not many kids want to play with the small kid with the weird name, but Dean doesn’t treat him like he’s any different. In fact, Dean treats him like he’s better than the other kids.

One morning, before school starts, Dean drags his mother, a blonde, petite woman with a warm smile and eyes as bright and big as Dean’s, over to Castiel.

“Mom! This is Cas! Cas, this is my mom!” Dean says, a big smile plastered on his face, and Castiel feels his face warm up, and pushes his face into his hands. Now he’s invisible.

“Oh, dear. I think Cas disappeared on us, Dean,” his mother says, a tone of understanding in her voice. "Can you tell him it was nice meeting him, and that I say goodbye?" She says and he hears her kiss Dean goodbye, and her heels click out of the room.

“You can stop being inivisible now, Cas,” Dean says, and Castiel looks between his fingers and sees a frowning Dean looking back at him. “Don’t you like my mom, Cas?” He asks. Castiel starts to cry.

“I like her!” Castiel says as he wipes away his tears. He feels Dean’s hand brush up and down his back, and looks up at him.

“Cas, don’t cry, I’m sorry,” he says, and Miss Naomi comes over to them.

“Is everything okay, boys?” She asks, and Dean explains to Miss Naomi as Castiel goes invisible again.

“But he likes my mom, he’s just ‘barrassed I think,” Dean finishes. “He’ll be okay, soon as he makes himself uninivisible again.”

“Oh, he’s invisible,” Miss Naomi says, and chuckles. “Make sure you tell Castiel to join you at circle time once he’s ready to become visible again, okay, Dean?” Castiel peeks through his fingers and sees Dean nod, and Miss Naomi pat his head as she walks away. Dean turns to Castiel and smiles.

“How come I’m the only one who sees you when you go inivisible?” He asks, and grabs Castiel’s hands and pulls them away from his face. Castiel smiles at him shyly.

“You’re the only one who wants to see me when I’m not invisible,” he says back, and Dean rolls his eyes.

“C’mon, Cas, let’s go sit down on the carpet. You can sit on the letter “C” and I’ll sit on the letter “D”, ‘kay? Like our names, right? Cas and Dean?” He doesn’t let go of Castiel’s hand until they’re sitting down, and by that time, Castiel is too happy to remember why he was crying in the first place.

“You have a pretty mom,” Castiel says, and Dean nods and smiles.

“I know, and she can sing pretty good too. And she makes pie! You like pie, right Cas?” Dean asks, but doesn’t wait for Castiel to respond. “’Course you like pie. Everybody likes pie.” Dean rocks back and forth on his bum, holding his knees.

“I don’t have a mom,” Castiel says quietly. “She went to heaven after my sister was born.” Dean stops rocking and looks at Castiel sadly.

“You can share my mom if you wanna,” Dean says. “And you can sleep in my room! Oh! Do you wanna sleep over my house sometime, Cas? My mom could sing you Jude and make us pie!” Dean smiles earnestly at his friend. Castiel is happy talking about moms for the first time in a long time.

“Yeah, Dean, I want to sleep over,” he says, and Dean smiles so big it looks like his face will crack.

“I’m gonna ask my mom when she comes after school, ‘kay? Maybe you could sleep over on the "F" Day!”

“Friday?”

“The "F" Day!”


	3. The "F" Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You flew,” he says quietly, and runs over to him with big shining eyes. “My mom always says angels are watching over us,” he says, and grabs Castiel’s pinky finger with his. “Are you our angel, Cas?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so much longer than I ancipated I can't stop writing cute kid!Dean and kid!Cas stuff help! Enjoy! xox

Dean drags Cas by the hand when his mom shows up after class, and although Castiel wants to go invisible, he only hides his face behind one hand, peeking out at Dean’s pretty mom between his fingers.

“Mom, can Cas sleep over on the “F” day?” He asks, and they both look up at her with big, wide eyes until she buckles under the weight of two beautiful manipulative boys with their big, innocent eyes.

“How about we wait for Cas’ parents before we say yes, Dean?” She says, and Dean smiles at Castiel and squeezes his hand.

“Cas only has a dad. His mom’s in heaven,” Dean says, and Cas pulls Dean’s hand up with him to go invisible. He wonders if he can go invisible using Dean’s hand too, or if Dean will go invisible too.

“Dean,” he whispers. “Are you invisible or just me?” He asks, and Dean looks down at himself.

“Just you, I think,” his eyebrows scrunch together and he looks back at his mom. “Mom, am I inivisible or just Cas?”

“Where is Cas?” She answers, and Dean loosens his grip on Cas’ hand. “Dean, does Cas want to sleep over or did you just tell him he was going to sleep over?” She asks, and Dean shuffles beside him.

“I didn’t ask, but –“

“I wanna sleep over,” Castiel says, and looks through his fingers at Dean’s mom. She looks around the room before settling her eyes on Dean.

“Who said that?” She asks, scared, and Castiel moves his hands from his face. She looks over at Castiel and smiles big, putting her hand over her heart. “Cas! You’re not invisible anymore! It’s good to see you!” Castiel smiles at the ground and moves closer to Dean. He doesn’t want to be invisible to Dean’s mom anymore. She’s nice, and his dad says it’s rude to be invisible to nice people.

“Hey, Castiel,” his father’s voice says, and he looks up, smiling at his dad. Dean’s mom turns to him and introduces herself, and they talk grown-up stuff in soft voices.

“You do like my mom,” Dean says to Castiel, and he nods, smiling. Dean smiles back at him.

“I like you,” he says to Dean, and Dean wraps his arms around Castiel’s shoulders. Castiel stands still, and when Dean pulls away, the grown-ups are ready to tell them yes or no.

“Cas’ dad and I think it would be a great idea if Cas would sleep over!” Dean’s mom says, and Dean jumps up and down, laughing and screaming.

“Thank you, dad,” says Cas, smiling up at his father, and his father rustles his already messy hair.

“We’ll pack a bag for you to take to school, and Dean’s mom will pick you up tomorrow after class, alright buddy?” He says, and Castiel nods.

“Mom, can Cas sleep in my room?” Dean is asking, among other things. “Could we get pizza and pie? Ice cream, too?”

“Dean, why don’t you say goodbye to Cas, so we can all go home and get ready for the “F” day fun?” She says, and Dean looks back at Castiel with the biggest smile he’s seen yet.

“Bye, Cas! See ya tomorrow!” He waves, and they walk out of the room hand in hand, Dean still asking a million questions a minute.

“You seem to really like this boy,” his dad says, and Castiel looks up at him.

“He sees me when I’m invisible,” Castiel says, and his father looks at him with sad, blue eyes, and an even sadder smile.

“How does pb&j sound for dinner?” He says, holding out his hands, and Castiel nods, grabbing his father’s long fingers as he leads him out to the car.

 

Class seems to last forever on Friday, and Castiel can’t concentrate on shapes when he knows he gets to sleep over Dean’s house tonight. For the first time, he and Dean get separated during craft time, and he sits by a boy who smells like he’s been eating glue. He misses the way Dean smells; like fresh-cut grass, and a foreign fabric softener.

He catches Dean’s eye from across the room and smiles at him, and Dean sticks out his bottom lip. He’s taking the punishment a lot harder than Castiel is. He watches Dean squeeze an abundant amount of glue onto his craft paper and throw his shapes onto it.

It makes Castiel wonder if maybe he should do something like that, but he makes his neat as he can. He’d rather be by Dean during crafts, but there’s not much he can do about it. Plus, he wants to show Dean his craft and to see Dean smile at it. Right now he’s not smiling, and that makes him sad.

“Psst! Cas!” Dean’s voice whispers across the room. Castiel smiles and looks up at him, and sees Dean holding up his drippy, glue-covered craft. He smiles, and nods, and holds up his own, and Dean smiles at him even bigger.

“Alright, boys and girls, let’s wash those hands. Parents are coming to pick you up soon!” Dean bolts out of his seat and runs to the bathroom, and Castiel watches Miss Naomi sigh in defeat. Castiel walks quickly to the bathroom and washes his hands, and they go back to the room and wait for Dean’s mom.

“You’re gonna meet my little brother, Sammy,” Dean says, “but he’s just little. He can’t talk yet. I’m gonna teach him how to say my name first.”

“My sister Anna is little, too,” Castiel says.

“Maybe they’ll get married one day, yeee- _uck_!” Dean says, sticking his tongue out. “Girls are yicky, ‘cept my mom. And your sister, unless she is yicky?”

“She’s only yicky after she eats,” Castiel says, and Dean nods.

“Do you have a brother?” Dean asks, and Castiel nods.

“His name is Gabriel, he’s older. He’s in third grade,” Castiel says. “He’s almost ten.”

“Wow,” says Dean, impressed. “Does he have a girlfriend?” Castiel shakes his head.

“He’s too busy playing pranks, I think,” Castiel says, and Dean’s mom walks into the room, out of breath and red-faced.

“Sorry I’m late!” She says, and Dean grabs Castiel’s hand and they walk out to the car.

“Why were you late?” Dean asks, and Dean’s mom sighs.

“There was an accident on the way here, lots and lots of cars were stopped and I got caught up in the traffic,” she says. She smiles and opens the door for them, and Dean smiles as his mother straps them both into car seats.

“I’m gonna be big soon and then I won’t need a car seat, right mom?”

“You’re breaking my heart, Dean,” she says, but she’s smiling, and Dean laughs.

“You’re kidding, right mom?” Dean’s mom laughs out loud, and kisses Dean’s nose.

“Only a little,” she says, and goes up to the driver’s seat.

 

Castiel grabs onto Dean’s shirt as they go into his house, hiding himself behind Dean effectively enough so he doesn’t have to go invisible. When they go into his house, Castiel hears the sound of a baby cooing, and a man’s voice softly edging the baby to sleep.

“Dad!” Dean screams, and Castiel lets go of his shirt as he runs away. Dean’s mom stays with him, and offers her hand for him to hold. Castiel smiles up at her and grabs two of her fingers, and she leads him into where Dean, his father, and his little brother are.

“Look at all of my handsome boys,” Dean’s mom says, and they all look up at her with smiles. Even Sammy, Cas thinks, is smiling at her. And then they look at him, and he hides his face into her leg. “Dean, why don’t you introduce Cas to the family?” She says, and Castiel hears Dean’s feet clumping towards him.

“C’mon, Cas, you can be univivisible for my family, right?” He whispers, and Castiel lets go of Dean’s mom’s hand and nods. Dean introduces him to his father, a man with kind, tired eyes and a smile that isn’t anything like Dean’s. Then Dean introduces him to Sammy, a baby with the biggest dimples Castiel thinks he’s ever seen in his life. He puts his hand over Sammy’s head and says hi, and Sammy gurgles in response.

“I think Sammy likes you!” Dean’s mom says, and Castiel smiles down at the baby. He kicks his feet and reaches up, grabbing Castiel’s hair, and pulls it. Castiel giggles and tries to pull away, but Sammy has his hair in a viselike grip.

“Help!” He says, and Dean pries Sammy’s fingers off of him.

“Maybe Sammy is ready for a football, dad,” Dean says, as Sammy’s hands grip around his fingers. He smiles at his little brother and then looks back up at Castiel. “Let’s play ninjas,” he says, and pulls Castiel up by his hand to his room.

“Be careful!” Dean’s mom calls upstairs, sounding as though there’s not much she can do beyond saying that, but Dean slams the door behind them and starts showing Castiel how to karate kick.

Ten minutes later, Dean is bored with playing ninjas and drags Castiel outside, to a playground in their backyard. Castiel smiles and walks to the swings, and Dean runs up beside him and says, “Race ya!”

He beats Castiel to the swings, but in no time at all, Castiel is swinging as high as he can go, pumping his little legs back and forth, his eyes closed, feeling the wind on his face, blowing through his hair.

“Hey, no fair! Jus’ ‘cause you’re a angel doesn’t mean you get to go highest!” Dean says, trying to pump his legs as high as Castiel is.

“Can you see my wings?” Castiel calls out, and Dean laughs.

“They’re awesome!” Dean says, and Castiel slows down enough to jump off, and lands on his feet. Dean skids his feet along the dirt to stop himself, and looks up at Castiel in awe.

“What?” Castiel asks softly, and Dean just looks at him like he’s actually an angel.

“You flew,” he says quietly, and runs over to him with big shining eyes. “My mom always says angels are watching over us,” he says, and grabs Castiel’s pinky finger with his. “Are you our angel, Cas?”

Castiel looks back at Dean with big, round eyes and starts to say something, when Dean’s mom calls out to them.

“Dinner, boys!” She calls, and Dean pulls Castiel in by his pinky finger.

They eat cheeseburgers, and pie for dessert, and Castiel has never felt happier in his life. When it’s bedtime, Dean pulls Castiel into his racecar bed beside him, and waits for his mom to come in and read them a story. When she sees them curling up beside each other, she stops for a second before smiling and sitting down, and she reads them “Goodnight Moon”, which makes Castiel wonder if his wings could help him fly he and Dean into space. She kisses Dean goodnight and rustles Castiel’s hair, turning off the light on her way out, and Dean rolls over to face him.

“You’re my best friend,” he says, and then falls asleep almost instantly.

“You’re my best friend, too, Dean,” he replies, and closes his eyes, falling asleep to the sounds of Dean’s soft snoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I post these on tumblr too, my tumblr user name is castielsmiles! <3


	4. Mommy Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s on your mind, Cas?” She smiles.
> 
> “Would you be my new mommy?” He asks, and Dean’s mom looks at him the way his dad looks at him sometimes, big eyes and a sad smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hurts to write sad stuff! Enjoy!

When Castiel wakes up the next morning, Dean is lying flat on his back, a trickle of drool dribbling down his cheek onto the pillow. He covers his mouth to stop from giggling and carefully leaves the bed so he doesn’t wake his friend up. He walks to the kitchen, rubbing his eyes, and sees Dean’s mom sipping coffee at the kitchen table, reading a book, humming to herself. He walks up beside her and waits for her to notice him. He looks down at his hands; he’s not invisible.

“What are you reading?” He asks in a quiet voice, and Dean’s mom jumps up in her seat, spilling coffee all over her hand and book.

“Cas!” She says, and he presses his face into his hands. “No, Cas, honey, I’m sorry, don’t go invisible on me. You just scared me. You’re very quiet. Did you fly over here?” Castiel takes his hands away from his eyes and looks up at her.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice wobbling, and Dean’s mom crouches down to his level.

“It’s fine, sweetheart. My coffee wasn’t even hot. And the book will dry. Everything is okay.” She strokes his cheek with the back of her hand and stands up. “Would you like some pancakes?”

 

The house is quiet in the morning, and Castiel thinks maybe that’s why Dean’s mom is awake. She likes quiet time. So he sits at the table, watching her make pancakes, (“How about blueberry pancakes?), and makes sure to be very quiet.

“You didn’t fly away on me, did you?” She says, and looks over her shoulder with a smile. Cas shakes his head, and Dean’s mom laughs. “You know you can talk, right? I’m not a big, scary monster.”

“Monsters aren’t pretty like you,” he says, and she turns around and smiles at him so big she looks just like Dean.

“You are quite the charmer, Cas,” she laughs, and flips the pancake in the air. Castiel gasps and claps his hands, his legs swinging under the table. Then he remembers he needs to be quiet and covers his mouth.

“Sorry,” he says, muffled, and Dean’s mom brings a plate of cut up pancakes to his table.

“Cas, honey, you could scream at the top of your lungs, no man or child in this house would hear it,” she laughs, and sits next to him. Castiel takes a bite of pancake and smiles happily, digging into more. Dean’s mom just watches him silently, and when he’s finished, she takes his plate to the sink. Dean’s mom is such a good mom, it makes Castiel miss his own mother.

“Um,” Castiel says quietly, and Dean’s mom turns to him.

“What’s on your mind, Cas?” She smiles.

“Would you be my new mommy?” He asks, and Dean’s mom looks at him the way his dad looks at him sometimes, big eyes and a sad smile. Castiel goes to put his hands over his face, but Dean’s mom rushes over and grabs his hands before he can.

“I always tell Dean that angels are watching over him,” she says quietly, still holding his hands, and Castiel nods.

“He told me that yesterday,” he says, and Dean’s mom smiles.

“Your mommy is in heaven, and mommies are the best kinds of angels. I bet she’s watching over you right now.” Castiel feels his bottom lip wobble, and he stares up at Dean’s mom.

“Are you sure?” He asks, and Dean’s mom smiles bigger than ever.

“You don’t need a new mommy, baby, you have one of your own, and she’s watching you all the time, smiling down at you.” She squeezes his hands and pats down his hair as she stands up. Castiel watches her walk over to the stove and pour out more pancake mix onto the frying pan.

“Three… two… “ she says, and Dean comes barreling into the kitchen, screaming, “PANCAKES!”

She looks over at Castiel and winks, and says, “oh, Dean, you’re awake! How about some pancakes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, follow me on tumblr, I post these there, too! (castielsmiles)


	5. To Pre-K and Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not gonna forget about me, right?” Dean asks, and Castiel shakes his head.
> 
> “Of course not, Dean,” he says, and squeezes Dean’s hand, but Dean doesn’t smile.
> 
> “You’ll still be my best friend?” Castiel smiles as big as he can and nods.
> 
> “You’ll be my best friend forever,” he confirms, and Dean smiles, and squeezes his hand back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no they're gonna start growing up! Enjoy!

Pre-k graduation comes sooner than Castiel or Dean expects it to, and they stand on stage, wearing paper graduation hats, holding hands, waiting to be called to accept their diplomas.

“You’re not gonna forget about me, right?” Dean asks, and Castiel shakes his head.

“Of course not, Dean,” he says, and squeezes Dean’s hand, but Dean doesn’t smile.

“You’ll still be my best friend?” Castiel smiles as big as he can and nods.

“You’ll be my best friend forever,” he confirms, and Dean smiles, and squeezes his hand back. Castiel looks into the crowd and finds his dad, holding his baby sister, and his older brother, playing on his handheld video game. He waves to his dad, who gives him a thumbs up. Gabriel looks up long enough to send Castiel a wink, and then he’s pressing buttons rapidly on his handheld again, and he looks for Dean’s family.

Dean’s waving and jumping, and Castiel can see Dean’s mom waving back, holding Sammy, who’s giggling and gurgling beside her. Castiel waves to her too, and she blows them both a kiss.

“Where’s your dad?” Castiel asks, and Dean smiles.

“He’s getting’ the bad guys and puttin’ them in jail,” he says, but his smile is sad.

“Castiel Shurley!” Miss Naomi calls out his name, and he nervously goes to get the piece of paper at the front of the stage. Camera flashes go off, and Castiel sees that Gabriel’s taking pictures now, smiling proudly. He smiles back and looks up at Miss Naomi as he grabs his diploma.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, and Miss Naomi smiles back.

“Dean Winchester!” She calls, and Dean high fives him on his way to get his diploma. He snatches it from Miss Naomi’s hands and waves to his family as he runs back beside Castiel, smiling and panting from running.

“We should go get pizza after this is over,” he says, and waves to get his mom’s attention. Castiel watches Dean’s mom shake her head and put her finger over her mouth, and before Castiel can say anything to Dean, he’s screaming to his mom.

“CAN WE GO GET PIZZA WITH CAS AND HIS FAMILY AFTER?!” Castiel goes invisible as the room erupts in laughter.

 

Shockingly enough, Dean does get what he wants, and they’re all sitting in a pizza parlor after the graduation ceremony is over. Gabriel is playing his video games still, Dean’s mom and Castiel’s dad are talking in grown-up voices, and Anna and Sammy are sitting in high chairs throwing cut-up pieces of pizza at each other. Dean and Castiel are eating their pizza slices and talking about kindergarten.

“I bet kindergarten is a lot more hard than pre-k,” Dean says, and Castiel frowns.

“I hope not. I hope we’re in the same class,” he adds, and looks up at Dean, questioning if he feels the same way.

“We gotta be,” Dean smiles. “We’re best friends. No one can tear us apart.” Castiel smiles and takes a big bite of pizza. Of course they’ll be in the same class. Dean always knows best.

 

Summer goes past so quickly that the first day of kindergarten surprises them. In the morning, there’s a knock at the door, and when Castiel’s dad opens it, Dean and his mom are standing there, smiling at them both.

“Dean!” Castiel says, and Dean runs full force and nearly tackles Castiel to the ground.

“I missed you!” Dean says, and even though they’ve only been apart for a week, Castiel knows he means it.

“Thank you so much for getting them to school,” Dean’s mom says to Castiel’s dad, and he smiles and nods.

“Of course, it’s no problem,” he says, and it’s not, because his dad is a writer, and works from home anyway. Plus, the elementary school is just a couple blocks from where they live.

“Wow, Cas, you got a Superman backpack!” Dean says, and Castiel smiles.

“You’ve got Batman!” He says back, and Dean puffs out his chest.

“I am Batman,” he says, and then giggles. “You kinda look like Superman, Cas, and you can fly.”

“I am Superman,” Castiel says seriously, and Dean only laughs harder.

“What are you two nerds up to?” Gabriel comes out of nowhere, and punches Castiel in the arm. He’s going into fourth grade, and he’s much more impressive now.

“Don’t hurt Cas,” Dean says, frowning, and Gabriel puts his hands up in defense.

“Calm down, kiddo, I’m not gonna hurt my own flesh and blood,” he says, and crosses his heart. “On my honor.” Dean seems to calm down at that, and turns to his mom.

“Okay, baby, I’ve gotta go to work,” she says, and kisses his forehead. “Have a good first day, okay?” Her voice squeaks at the end, and she looks like she’s about to cry.

“Mom, don’t cry,” Dean says softly, and hugs her around the middle, and his mom leans down to give him a big bear hug, kissing him all over his face. She kisses him one more time, on the top of his head, and then says goodbye to Castiel and Gabriel.

“Have a good first day, guys!” She calls, and leaves before she starts crying again.

“Moms are so strange,” Dean says, and they both look up at Gabriel, who’s smiling sadly.

“Yeah, moms are pretty strange,” he says softly, and Castiel hooks his pinky around his older brother’s. He hasn’t seen him look so sad in a long time. Gabriel looks down at his little brother and smiles. “Alright, nerds, who’s ready to walk to school?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (add me on tumblr [castielsmiles], i post these there too!)


	6. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kindergarten room reminds him of the pre-k room, except it’s quite bigger and there’s more kids around. They’re all seated at colorful long tables, with polka-dotted chairs. Dean leads him to a table and they sit down, buzzing with excitement.
> 
> “What’s the teacher’s name again?” Dean asks for the fifth time this week, and Castiel answers instantly.
> 
> “Mrs. Tran,” he says, and not a second later, a small, nice lady comes in and stands at the front of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the thought of Chuck being the dad who likes to tell embarrassing stories about his kids! Enjoy!

Castiel and Dean walk to school holding hands. Gabriel and Castiel’s father walk on either side of them, Castiel’s father holding Anna, bouncing her on his hip.

“Why are you two always holding hands?” Gabriel asks with a sneer, and Castiel feels his bottom lip quiver.

“Gabriel, either you hush or I’ll tell all of your friends about the time you lost –“ Castiel’s dad says, but Gabriel interrupts him.

“Okay, okay, sorry, sorry,” he says, blushing furiously red. Dean giggles and tightens his grip on Castiel’s hand.

“We like holding hands,” Dean says, and sticks his tongue out at Gabriel. The older boy narrows his eyes and then looks away.

“Well, don’t come crying to me when someone makes fun of you two,” Gabriel says out of the corner of his mouth, but he doesn’t get away with saying it.

“When Gabriel was little he lost his toy duckie and then peed his pants from crying so hard after locking himself in the cupboard,” Castiel’s dad says, and Gabriel screams at his father as Dean and Castiel laugh until tears come to their eyes.

“If you two repeat that to anyone I’ll –“ he threatens, but the boys are laughing too hard to take him seriously.

Once they get to the school, Gabriel runs off before his father can embarrass him again. Castiel’s dad turns to the two boys and asks them if they’re ready.

“Yeah,” the reply together, and he leads them to their classroom. Dean was right, they’re in the same class.

“Luckily for you two, they do classrooms by last names. Shurley and Winchester are close in the alphabet, so you two get to be in the same classroom,” Castiel’s dad explains, and then crouches down to their level. “Are you gonna behave? Be two young gentlemen?” He asks, seriously, and Dean and Castiel nod furiously.

“Blav!” Anna adds, and Castiel reaches up and strokes her forehead.

“Bye Anna,” he says, and smiles when Anna grips his finger.

“Bye Mr. Chuck, bye Anna,” Dean says, and smiles at Castiel.

“Bye dad,” Castiel says as Dean drags him into the room, and he almost misses the small tear in his father’s eye as he gets swept into the colorful room.

The kindergarten room reminds him of the pre-k room, except it’s quite bigger and there’s more kids around. They’re all seated at colorful long tables, with polka-dotted chairs. Dean leads him to a table and they sit down, buzzing with excitement.

“What’s the teacher’s name again?” Dean asks for the fifth time this week, and Castiel answers instantly.

“Mrs. Tran,” he says, and not a second later, a small, nice lady comes in and stands at the front of the room.

“Good morning, kindergarteners!” She says happily, and they all say good morning back to her. She goes around the room and makes every child stand up and say their name, and by the time she gets close to Castiel, he’s already gripping Dean’s hand so hard he thinks he might break it. But Dean says nothing, and gives Castiel’s hand one more squeeze before he stands up and introduces himself.

“My name is Dean Winchester,” he says, smiling, and Mrs. Tran reaches out her hand for Dean to shake. When Dean sits down, he nudges Castiel supportively. Castiel stands up slowly, and looks up at Mrs. Tran.

“My name is Castiel Shurley,” he says in a voice just above a whisper, and Mrs. Tran reaches out her hand to shake his.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Castiel,” she whispers back, smiling, and then moves along. Dean pats Castiel on the back.

“See, not so hard,” he whispers, and Castiel nods.

He doesn’t go invisible the whole day.

When they are finished with class, Gabriel is waiting for them outside the door.

“How was your first day?” He asks, rustling both of their heads, and Castiel’s glad he’s in a better mood.

“It was good,” Castiel replies.

“It was _awesome_ ,” says Dean, and tells Gabriel about every single thing that happened. By the time they get outside of the school, Dean is almost out of breath, but Gabriel doesn’t seem to mind Dean’s chatter.

“Sounds like you both had a good day,” he says, and pulls Castiel in for a side-hug.

“Hey, boys!” Castiel’s dad’s voice rings out over the clatter around them, and he’s holding a fussy Sammy and pushing Anna in a stroller towards them. “I’m glad I’m on time; Mary asked me to pick up Sammy from daycare.”

“Gulaldok,” Sammy says, trying to squirm out of his hands, but Castiel’s dad seems to have a good grip on him.

“Hey, Gabe, how’d you like to push Anna for me?” Castiel’s dad says, and Gabe runs and grabs the stroller. “Please, Gabriel, don’t treat the stroller like a skateboard, Anna doesn’t want to ollie,” he adds, and Gabriel scrunches up his nose.

“She liked it last time, you’re just no fun,” Gabriel says, and Castiel’s dad sighs.

“When Gabriel went to the Aquarium, he got so scared of the sharks that he tried to hide by tucking his head between his legs and ripped his pants open,” Castiel’s dad says, and Gabriel screams at his dad for the second time that day while Castiel and Dean laugh hysterically beside them.


	7. The Hots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dean’s mom comes to pick Dean and Sammy up later, he shows her excitedly how well he can write his name thanks to Cas’ dad, and Dean’s mom sends his father a smile so warm and full of thanks Castiel thinks his father might be blushing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no I did something bad I think... Enjoy!!

“This is so _stupid_ ,” Dean says, slamming his pencil on the table. Castiel looks up from his own homework and tilts his head at the other boy.

“You’re not supposed to say that word,” Castiel says to him in a chiding tone of voice. Dean pouts at him.

“I’m not ‘apposed to do nothin’,” he says. “If I’m too little to say stupid, I’m too little to do this!” He pushes his homework off of the dining room table and hides his face in his folded arms. Castiel puts his pencil down and picks up Dean’s discarded things off of the floor, and puts them back on the table.

“You just hafta focus, remember what Mrs. Tran said?” Castiel says, and pats Dean’s head like his father does to him. “You’re smart, Dean, you can do it,” and Dean sits up and looks at Castiel with tears brimming in his eyes. It breaks Castiel’s heart, and he wraps his arms around his friend and squeezes. Dean says nothing, but squeezes his arms around Castiel as well, and Castiel feels his shirt get wet from Dean’s tears.

“Is everything okay?” Castiel’s father comes in to check on them, and Castiel pulls away from Dean.

“Dean can’t make his letters very good,” Castiel says, and Dean sniffles beside him.

“Stupid,” Dean says, and Castiel looks at him with big, sad eyes.

“You’re not stupid, Dean,” he says quietly, and Castiel’s father comes around to look at what Dean’s letters look like.

“Dean, let me see how you hold your pencil,” Castiel’s father says, and Dean grabs the pencil in his fist and starts to write again. The edge of his father’s mouth turns upwards and he nods. He gingerly places the pencil between Dean’s pointer finger and thumb, and says, “Try this.”

Dean starts to write his “D”, and smiles and looks up at Castiel’s dad.

“I did it!” He says, and Castiel’s father rustles his hair.

“You did!” He says back, and winks at Castiel before leaving the room again.

When Dean’s mom comes to pick Dean and Sammy up later, he shows her excitedly how well he can write his name thanks to Cas’ dad, and Dean’s mom sends his father a smile so warm and full of thanks Castiel thinks his father might be blushing.

“Did you say thank you to Mr. Chuck?” She says, and Dean runs over and hugs his legs.

“Thank you Mr. Chuck,” he says, and then runs over to Castiel and hugs him too. “Thank you Mr. Cas,” he says, and giggles, and they say their goodbyes and leave.

“I think dad’s got the hots for Mary,” Gabriel says from the top of the steps, and Castiel’s father rolls his eyes.

“Kind of like the time you stood out in the sun for so long that you burned the whole left side of your body while the right side of you was pale, right?” Their dad says, and Gabriel groans.

“Dad, why you gotta hate?” He says back, his face red, and then stomps up to his room while Castiel and his father laugh.

 

Castiel’s birthday swings around in October (“You were born on a Thursday,” his father says, “your mom always called you the angel of Thursday,”), and to celebrate, Castiel has to invite all of his classmates to his house for a party. If it was his way, only Dean and Sammy would be over and they’d be having pb&j sandwiches and be watching television all night, but his father insisted on having a big party.

Naturally, Castiel only plays with Dean, running around the backyard with him, and pretty much ignoring all of the other children. But they don’t seem to mind; they’re all playing in the bouncy house anyway, and Castiel thinks Dean is fun even without being in the bouncy house.

“I gotta pee,” Castiel says, after running around with Dean for a while, and Dean laughs and tells him to go before he has an accident. He runs to the bouncy house while Castiel runs into the house. He almost makes it to the bathroom when he hears Dean’s mom crying.

“He’s never around,” she’s saying, and Castiel stops to listen, even though he knows he shouldn’t. “I miss him, and I know he’s doing something good, but –“ her voice cuts off, and she lets out a big sob.

“You know I’m always ready to help out,” Castiel’s dad is saying, and Castiel’s face scrunches up in confusion. “I know what it’s like to be alone,” he says softly, and Castiel runs to the bathroom and slams the door behind him.

He feels horribly for listening to his father’s private conversation with Dean’s mom, but he’s confused as ever, and wonders if he should tell Dean. No, he decides, because then he might get in trouble for eavesdropping. When Castiel leaves the bathroom to return to the party, Dean’s mom is happy and smiling again, and Castiel’s father is bringing out a large cake with Castiel’s name in blue frosting. Dean runs to him with a big smile on his face, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the picnic table where Castiel’s father is putting the cake.

“It’s time to sing the song!” Dean says, and Castiel completely forgets about their parents’ conversation.


	8. Silly Grown-Up Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everything will be better in the morning,” Gabriel says. “That’s what mom always said when I had a bad day.” Castiel nods his head.
> 
> “Everything will be better in the morning,” he agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is happening to my fic everything is sad ): ENJOY!!

A week after Castiel’s birthday, Dean doesn’t come to Castiel’s house in the morning, and Gabriel and Castiel’s father walk him to school alone. When Castiel sits next to Dean before class, Dean doesn’t look very happy.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asks, and grabs one of Dean’s fingers.

“My dad came home last night,” he says, but he doesn’t look very happy.

“That’s good, though, isn’t it?” Castiel asks, and Dean shrugs.

“Mom and him fought all night,” Dean says quietly, and turns to look Castiel in the eyes. “She was cryin’, and he was yellin’, and then I heard Mr. Chuck’s name, and –“ he stops and bites his lip. “Cas, what if they make us stop bein’ friends?”

Castiel remembers his birthday party suddenly, and then his stomach starts to hurt. He covers his mouth and raises his hand in the air.

“Mrs. Tran? I don’t feel too good,” he says, and Mrs. Tran runs to him and ushers him to the Nurse’s office. He waits there for his dad to come pick him up, even though the nurse says he looks okay.

“Cas, bub, are you okay?” His dad rushes in, baby Anna on his hip, and he starts to cry, and runs his face into his father’s legs.

“Can – weeee – goooo – _hooome_ –“ he says between sobs, and his father scoops him up and carries him on his other hip. Castiel wraps his arms around his father’s neck and cries into his shoulder.

“Of course, buddy, let’s go home.” He says, and he trudges home with a kid on each hip.

 

Later that day, after Castiel has calmed down, he goes and stands by his father’s side, and lays his head on his lap.

“Are you ready to tell me why you wanted to go home so badly today?” His father asks, stroking the hair out of his son’s face, and Castiel nods.

“Dean says that his mom and dad were fighting because of us,” he says quietly, and then he looks up at his dad. “Are you guys gonna make us stop being friends?” Castiel’s father sighs sadly, and then picks Castiel up and puts him on his lap.

“Grown-up things are very hard to understand,” his father says. “Even I don’t understand how grown-ups think sometimes. But no one will ever stop you and Dean from being friends, I promise.” His voice is serious and soft, and Castiel bites his lip and nods.

“Are they fighting ‘cause of his mom crying at my party?” Castiel asks, and his father’s eyes widen. For a moment, he’s speechless. Eventually, his lips form a tight, straight line, and he strokes the hair out of Castiel’s eyes.

“This isn’t something you should be worrying about, bub,” he says, and smiles. “You’re a kid, and you should be having fun. Not worrying about silly grown-up stuff,” he smiles and presses his forehead to Castiel’s. “Can you do that for me?” Castiel nods seriously, and his father kisses his forehead for a long time.

“Can I have mac and cheese for lunch?” He asks, and his dad smiles.

“Of course.”

 

That night, Castiel is awoken by loud, harsh words downstairs. He tip-toes out of his room, and sees Gabriel peeking through the bannister downstairs. Castiel kneels by his brother and does the same.

“What’s happening?” He asks in a sleepy voice, and Gabriel turns to him.

“Cas, I think maybe you should go back to bed,” he whispers. But then he sees Dean’s dad come into the house. “Shit,” Gabriel says, and Castiel looks up at him.

“You said a bad word,” Castiel says, and then looks down at Dean’s dad. “What is Mr. John doing in our house?”

“Little bro, you need to go back to your room,” Gabriel says in a very serious voice, and he looks up at him with a wobbly chin.

“Is Mr. John gonna hurt daddy?”

“Castiel, go to your room,” Gabriel whispers harshly, but Castiel doesn’t listen. He runs down the stairs and wraps his arms around his dad’s leg.

“Don’t hurt my daddy!” He screams at Dean’s dad, and the tall, angry man looks down at him, his shoulders slumping, and the angry look on his face being replaced with one of something different. Regret.

“John, please, go home. To Mary.” Castiel’s dad pleads with him. “Before you do something you’ll regret.” John nods, and apologizes to Castiel. Castiel glares at the man and then hides his face into his father’s leg.

“I’m sorry,” Dean’s father says one more time, and then he’s out of the house, running to his car.

“Castiel, you must promise me not to speak to Dean about this,” his father says, and Castiel looks up at him.

“I promise,” he says, and then his father looks up at the stairs.

“That goes for you, too,” he says to Gabriel. “Take your brother back to his room.” Gabriel charges down the stairs and kneels down.

“Hop on, cowboy,” he says to Castiel, and piggy-backs his little brother back to his room.

“Will you sleep in my bed with me tonight?” Castiel asks when his brother plops him down on his bed, and Gabriel nods, slipping under the comforter with Castiel and hugging him to his chest.

“Everything will be better in the morning,” Gabriel says. “That’s what mom always said when I had a bad day.” Castiel nods his head.

“Everything will be better in the morning,” he agrees.


	9. A Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You won’t leave me, right?” Dean asks one morning, and Castiel shakes his head very hard.
> 
> “Cross my heart and hope to die,” Castiel says, and Dean smiles at him for the first time in a long time. “Let’s play legos,” Castiel tells him, and they build their own world where nothing bad happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I should just stick to fluff :x Enjoy!

Mary, Dean, and Sammy show up at their front door next morning, and while Dean is overjoyed and hugging Castiel, Dean’s mom looks as though she’s been crying. She places Sammy in the playpen where Anna is, and wrings her hands before turning to Castiel’s father.

“Could we…” She starts, and her lip starts to wobble. Castiel’s father presses his hand against her shoulder and ushers her into the kitchen. Gabriel meets Castiel’s eye and follows them near the kitchen, flipping through his science book, and listening in.

“Do ya feel better, Cas?” Dean asks, and Castiel smiles and nods.

“Much better,” he lies, and Dean hugs him. “I missed you,” he says into Dean’s shirt, and Dean squeezes him hard.

“I missed you more,” he says, and pulls away. “Guess what happened yesterday after you left?” He doesn’t wait for Castiel to guess. “We had a fire drill!”

 

Whatever Gabriel hears between Mary and his father stays a secret, and they finish their kindergarten year without hearing from John.

“He didn’t even call on his son’s birthday,” Castiel overhears Mary say to his father one morning, after they host Dean’s birthday party at their house.

And when he shows up to Dean’s kindergarten graduation unannounced, Castiel can tell Dean’s torn between excitement and anger. Mary, however, is all anger.

“We should all go and have a talk,” John says to Dean and Mary, and Mary walks to Castiel’s father and whispers to him in hurried, angry tones, and with a sad smile, he takes Sammy from her arms, and nods for Castiel to come with him.

“Is John gonna stay this time?” Castiel asks him, but his father has nothing to say about it.

Mary shows up late that night, tears streaming down her face, and buries her head into Castiel’s father’s chest. Castiel tells Gabriel that Mary says John had a fair, and Gabriel’s face pales.

“No, Cas, he had an affair,” he says softly. Castiel doesn’t understand. But Mary, Dean, and Sammy sleep over for the next couple of days, and eventually Dean says that they have a new baby brother, Adam, and that his mommy is not Adam’s mommy. Dean likes to curl up and cry when it’s bedtime, and Castiel strokes his hair like his father does to him when he’s sad.

“Everything will be better in the morning,” he whispers to his friend, and Dean nuzzles into Castiel’s chest, and falls asleep with tears running down his face.

 

“You won’t leave me, right?” Dean asks one morning, and Castiel shakes his head very hard.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Castiel says, and Dean smiles at him for the first time in a long time. “Let’s play legos,” Castiel tells him, and they build their own world where nothing bad happens.

 

Anna and Sammy take their first steps together, and after that, things seem to look up. Mary and John agree that they shouldn’t live together anymore, and he visits every month and takes Dean and Sammy out for a day. On those days, Mary comes over and keeps Castiel, Gabriel, and Anna company while their dad writes. Castiel can tell she misses Dean and Sammy, but she doesn’t cry anymore.

Sometimes Dean has to have alone time when he’s done having visiting time with his dad, but Castiel always finds him, and they talk in quiet whispers so no one hears them.

“Adam’s mom is nice, but I get angry when I see her. She made my mom cry, and so did dad,” Dean says, and Castiel nods. “Dad asks me if my mom and your dad are gonna get married. Are they?” His eyes are sad.

“I don’t think so,” Castiel says, and that’s the truth. His father loves Mary, but as a friend. And Mary feels the same way. That’s what they told Gabriel.

“Do all married people do this?” Dean asks, and then he closes his eyes. “I don’t wanna get married if it’s like this.”

“I see happy married people all the time,” Castiel says. He grabs Dean’s hands and laces their fingers together.

“Maybe you and me could get married one day,” Dean says, and Castiel smiles.

“Are boys allowed to marry boys?” He asks, and Dean presses his lips to Castiel’s hands.

“Who cares what we’re ‘llowed to do,” he whispers. And Castiel agrees. He kisses Dean’s hands back. “Will you marry me someday, Cas?” He asks, and Castiel nods.

“Yeah, and then we can go live on the moon,” Castiel adds, and Dean smiles and laughs. 


	10. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a blink of an eye, Anna and Sammy are starting their first day of kindergarten, and Castiel and Dean are in fourth grade. Gabriel’s in eighth grade, a middle schooler, and Sammy and Anna are just as close as Dean and Castiel had been at their age. Gabriel has a girlfriend named Kali, and he’s also amped up his pranks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff! And some not fluff! And Charlie! Enjoy!

In a blink of an eye, Anna and Sammy are starting their first day of kindergarten, and Castiel and Dean are in fourth grade. Gabriel’s in eighth grade, a _middle schooler_ , and Sammy and Anna are just as close as Dean and Castiel had been at their age. Gabriel has a girlfriend named Kali, and he’s also amped up his pranks.

Dean and Sammy call Castiel’s dad Uncle Chuck, and Anna, Gabriel and Castiel call Dean’s mom Aunt Mary. They tear up together as they walk their children to school, Sammy and Anna clinging tightly to one another, and Dean and Castiel chasing each other on the sidewalk. Gabriel rides the bus now, with _Kali_ , his father teases him, making kissy faces, which makes everyone laugh except Gabriel.

“Hey, Cas, who’s our teacher again, this year?” Dean asks for the fifth time this week, and Castiel remembers kindergarten, remembers how Dean used to look, short, sandy hair, and pudgy little body. He’s going through a growth spurt, and has a couple inches on Castiel now, but Castiel brags that he can still take Dean in a fight.

“Mr. Adler,” he replies, and Dean makes a face.

“We got a _guy_ teacher? Gross,” he says, and Castiel rolls his eyes. Ever since Aimee Batista got a crush on him last year, he’s been girl-crazy. Castiel doesn’t see the appeal. He doesn’t care about getting a girlfriend. He looks down at Sammy and Anna, both round-faced and chubby. He rustles Sammy’s hair and gets a big, dimply smile from the boy.

“Cas,” Anna says, “what about me?” She looks up at him with sad eyes and he leans down and kisses the top of her head. She giggles and rests her head on Sam’s arm. He thinks maybe one day they will get married, just like Dean had said when they were in pre-k.

Just like he said that he and Dean would in first grade.

His stomach starts to ache, and he wonders if maybe the milk he had in his cereal this morning was expired.

Dean doesn’t hold his hand in public anymore, but that’s okay with Castiel, because whenever Dean does now, it means more.

Once they reach the school, Dean and Castiel say goodbye to their parents and run off to their classroom. It’s dull, and plain, and their teacher is stone-faced and cold.

“Fourth grade might be a hell-hole,” Dean says out of the corner of his mouth, and they sit in the back, by a cheerful red-haired girl and a grim-faced black-haired boy.

“Hi! I’m Charlie,” the girl says, red pigtails bouncing. Castiel smiles at her.

“I’m Castiel, and that’s Dean,” Castiel says.

“Call him Cas, everyone does,” Dean says, and winks at her. Unlike all of the other girls, Dean doesn’t seem to have an effect on her.

“Nice to meet you guys,” she says, and Dean sits back in his seat, ears tinged pink from rejection. “What’s your name?” She says to the black haired boy in front of Dean, and he turns to her like he’s granting her a favor.

“Crowley,” he says. Then he gives her a smirk, and turns back to face the front. Charlie makes a face, and turns back to Dean and Castiel.

“Yikes,” she laughs, and Castiel immediately likes her.

Throughout their fourth grade year, she becomes a part of their new trio.

 

Mr. Adler is nothing like any teacher they’ve ever had before. Dean calls him Satan, and Charlie calls him Voldemort. Castiel keeps quiet and calls him nothing. Mr. Adler horrifies him.

But Dean can’t keep his big mouth shut, and any time Mr. Adler says something to Castiel or Charlie, he has to voice his opinion, and gets held after class.

“No one is allowed to talk to you like that,” he says to them. “Es _pecially_ not some balding old guy who likes to pick on little kids.” He calls them family, and in fact does protect them from all threats, Mr. Adler included.

Charlie gives them the Vulcan salute on their last day of fourth grade, and gives them each her number.

“Stay in touch, losers,” she says, and hops in her mom’s car. Dean and Castiel laugh as she drives off, and wait for Sammy and Anna to come out of their classroom. Anna comes out before Sammy and pushes her face into his stomach, and instantly, Castiel knows something is wrong.

“What happened, Anna?” He asks, and Anna takes his hand and drags him away.

“Sammy said we can’t be boyfriend girlfriend anymore,” she cries, and buries her face into his stomach, her tears dampening his shirt. He turns to Dean and watches Sammy come out of the room holding another girl’s hand, a curly-haired blonde. Dean looks over to him with an apologetic look, and drags Sammy away from the girl and past Castiel and Anna.

“Ow, Dean!” Sammy says, as Dean drags him outside of the school. Castiel grabs Anna’s hand and pulls her outside gently, meeting their father at the front of the school.

“Is everything alright?” Their father asks, and Castiel sighs and looks up at his dad with big, sad eyes.

“Sammy is holding hands with another girl now,” he whispers to his dad, and his father picks Anna up and kisses her cheek.

“My poor baby’s first heartbreak,” he whispers, kissing her face all over.

Dean sleeps over and crawls into bed with Castiel that night.

“How can Sammy be like my dad when he doesn’t even know what he did to us?” He asks, and Castiel grabs his hand.

“He’s just little, he doesn’t understand,” Castiel whispers, and Dean sighs.

“You’re right. You’re always right. I love that about you,” Dean yawns.

“I love everything about you,” Castiel says, and Dean squeezes his hand.

“Same for me,” Dean says back, and they stay awake for a bit, just lying with each other.

After a while, Dean speaks again.

“I love you, Cas,” he says, in a voice even softer than a whisper, and Castiel feels himself heat up inside.

“I love you too, Dean.”


	11. Pretend Girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is everything alright, Charlie?” Castiel asks, and links his pinky finger with hers. She smiles at him, and squeezes his finger with hers.
> 
> “I want to tell you something,” she says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh buddy I've done it now... Enjoy!!

By seventh grade, Dean becomes the school’s most wanted bad boy type, and on every girl’s wish list. Everyone except Charlie.

“C’mon, Charlie, just admit it. You love me,” he bats his long eyelashes at her, and she rolls her eyes.

“I admit it,” she says. “I admit I’d rather be shot into space and implode than be attracted to you.” Dean makes a face at her, and turns to Castiel.

“Can you believe her?” He says, and gets up, walking over to one of the girls at another lunch table. Castiel smiles at Charlie and shakes his head.

“He’s the one that’s unbelievable,” Castiel says, and Charlie smiles up at him. She bites her lip for a minute, and then grabs his hand.

“Can we go walk outside for a second, Cas?” He nods and gets up, following her outside into the playground.

“Is everything alright, Charlie?” He asks, and links his pinky finger with hers. She smiles at him, and squeezes his finger with hers.

“I want to tell you something,” she says, and Castiel suggests they sit down on the swings. They sit by each other, and Castiel waits patiently for Charlie to say whatever’s on her mind.

“You’re not in love with Dean, too, are you?” He says finally, and makes a face. Charlie laughs at him.

“God, no, Cas, it’s a lot better than that, I promise,” she says, but she’s twirling her hair with her pointer finger and looks very nervous.

“You know whatever it is won’t matter to me, right?” He says, and she smiles up at him.

“I don’t like boys,” she says, and Castiel tilts his head at her. “What I mean is,” she pauses, and looks down at her feet. “I like girls… the way that most girls like boys.” She looks up at Castiel and waits for his response.

“You’re right, this is much better than being in love with Dean,” he says, and she stands up and hugs him.

“I knew I could tell you,” she gushes into his ear, and Castiel hugs her back.

“When are you going to tell Dean?” he asks, and she pulls away with a very serious look.

“Cas, please don’t tell Dean,” she says, and he tilts his head at her.

“Why not?”

“I only told you because… you know,” she says, and smirks at him knowingly. Castiel shakes his head.

“Because why?” He asks, and she scrunches up her nose.

“Oh, um, nevermind,” she says, and Castiel smiles confusedly.

“No, tell me,” he says, and Charlie shrugs her shoulders.

“Well, I just thought, everyone is starting to notice people like crushes and stuff, but not you. So I got to thinking, ‘well, hey, maybe he’s’… you know?” She says, and Castiel’s smile fades.

“You think I like boys,” Castiel says, and Charlie grabs his hands.

“I’m sorry! I was totally wrong,” she says, and her eyes are apologetic. Castiel feels realization pour on top of him and his shoulders slump.

“Oh, my God,” Castiel says. He looks up at Charlie. “Please, don’t tell Dean.”

 

Dean catches up to Castiel after school and slings his arm around his friend’s shoulder.

“Heya, Cas. I saw you talkin’ to Charlie earlier,” he says, and Castiel is very aware of the warmth of Dean radiating through his body.

“Yeah, at lunch,” he says, and Dean squeezes his shoulder.

“So, are you two, like… dating?” He says, and Castiel looks up at him, a shocked expression on his face. Dean tilts his head back and laughs. “Good God, Cas, don’t be such a baby. Charlie is cute,” he says. “And it explains why she doesn’t like me. ‘Cause she likes you.” Castiel just nods.

“Yeah,” he says, and then curses himself.

 

“Charlie?” Castiel calls her when he gets home. “Jesus, Charlie, I messed up,” he says, and explains everything to her.

 _“Well,”_ Charlie says, and she doesn’t sound mad at all. _“This kind of works. I mean, he won’t ask questions if he thinks we’re dating, right? So… why not pretend?”_ Castiel presses his head against the wall.

“I don’t know if I could keep lying to Dean,” he says. “He’s my best friend.”

 _“So am I,”_ Charlie argues through the phone. _“I’m not asking you to choose, but I know you, Cas. You tell him we’re not dating, you end up telling him I like girls and you like boys.”_ She has a point.

“Okay, okay. Just until we figure something else out,” he says, and they say goodbye.

Castiel has a girlfriend. A pretend girlfriend.


	12. Fest Bend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can sleep in the bed with me,” Dean says, and starts taking his clothes off. There’s a half-naked Dean Winchester in his room, asking him to come to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOTS OF AGE JUMPS! Enjoy!!

“Until we figure something out” seems like a thing of the past, and even though neither of them are happy about it, they’re still dating in tenth grade, have been each other’s dates during dances, and have suffered Dean’s long-time teasing since the fateful day they accidentally got into this mess.

“I wish there were another lesbian at this school,” Charlie says one day. “Then I could just ‘cheat’ on you and then make a tearful break-up, and then this could be over with.” Castiel shares her sentiment. But he doesn’t wish another gay boy would come to the school. He stopped wishing that a long time ago. He wishes Dean were gay, too. But he’s not.

“What color are you wearing to homecoming?” Castiel asks her instead, and she laces her fingers through his and sighs.

“I’m always thinking blue, Cas. You always look good in a blue tie.” She winks up at him. They walk past Dean, mouth attached to his most recent girlfriend, Lisa. “Gross!” Charlie yells at them as they pass, and Castiel punches her arm.

“Don’t do that,” he whispers, cheeks flushing red, and Charlie rolls her eyes.

“You are so far gone with that kid it’s disgusting. Even more disgusting then him playing tonsil-hockey with Lisa.”

“You’re just saying that because _you_ want to be playing tonsil-hockey with Lisa,” Castiel says, and Charlie smiles.

“You got me there, boyfriend,” she says. “So,” she starts, and nervously squeezes his hand. Apparently, there’s something on her mind.

“Charlie, if you’re about to tell me that you don’t like girls anymore and that you’re in love with me, I _swear_ –“ Castiel says, and Charlie guffaws.

“As _if_ , Cas,” she says, and then blushes. “I was just… well not just, I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and you can say no, if it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, but I think it sort of makes sense, you know?”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Castiel says. “Continue.”

“Okay, so we’re technically _together_ , right?”

“Right.”

“So, no blushing bride virgin shit, okay?”

“Okay, Charlie.”

“Okay, good. So, we’re both gay.”

“Charlie,” Cas starts, and she holds up her hand.

“So there won’t be any feelings involved.”

“I’m hating this second by second,” Castiel groans, and Charlie starts to giggle.

“I’m just saying, it makes sense.”

“Why don’t you tell me what _exactly_ makes sense?” He asks, and Charlie sighs.

“I think we should practice making out with each other,” she spits out, and Castiel flinches back in shock.

“Wh _a—_ “

“Cas! Do not do the blushing bride act!” Castiel feels his face heat up. The only kiss he’s ever had was when Dean kissed his fingers before he asked him to marry him when they were seven.

“Jesus, Charlie, I’d love to know what goes through your mind day by day.”

“So, will you? Will you make out with me?”

“Charlie, for God’s sake—“

“Yes or no!”

“Yes! God damn it,” he relents. Charlie jumps up and down and hugs him. She rushes off to her next class, and leaves Castiel wondering what on earth he’s gotten himself into.

 

Charlie comes over to Castiel’s house after school, and they’re fully planning on making out, just like Charlie wants. Castiel wonders why he lets Charlie get whatever she wants.

“Good afternoon Mr. Shurley,” Charlie greets Castiel’s dad, and he raises his hand in awareness that she’s spoken to him. He’s been writing non-stop after a dream he had, and nothing’s been able to stop him.

“We’ll be doing homework if you need us, dad,” Castiel says. Another hand raise. Castiel and Charlie snigger and they walk upstairs.

“Your dad is such a hoot,” Charlie says, and puts her books on Castiel’s bed. He closes the door behind him, and then sighs.

“This is so weird,” Castiel says, and he realizes he’s shaking. Charlie rolls onto her heels, and back to the balls of her feet, and nods.

“It might be awesome,” Charlie says, and he smiles at her. She tilts her head at him and says, “you’re really hot, you know that?” Castiel flushes.

“You trying to get into my pants, Charlie?” He says, full of sarcasm, and Charlie takes a step towards him.

“Close your eyes,” she says, and he does. Her hands grab fistfuls of his shirt, and she pulls him close. She smells amazing, like green apples, and she’s soft, and warm. Her lips touch his, and while he’s thinking he should feel some kind of spark, all he feels is the press of her soft, plump lips on his.

“Nothing,” says Castiel, and he smiles.

“Well, don’t cry about it,” she says. He opens his eyes and she’s smiling too.

“It’s nice to have that confirmation,” he says. “If I were straight,” he shrugs. “I’d have wanted it to be you anyway.” Charlie blushes, and pulls him by his shirt.

“Let’s heat things up some,” she says, and Castiel puts his hands on her lower back and pulls her close. By the time Charlie leaves later that night, both of their lips are swollen and red, and they think they’ve perfected the perfect kiss.

“Bye Charlie,” Castiel’s dad calls as they walk down the stairs, and Charlie calls out her goodbye.

“See you tomorrow,” Castiel says, and leans down to peck her on the lips once more.

“Cas, you horn-dog,” she teases, and then she’s walking home, red hair bouncing after each step.

Castiel turns around, and sees Anna, Sammy and Gabriel watching him from the stairwell.

“Shit,” he says. “How much of that did you see?”

“Only all of it,” Anna says, smiling. “Did you two do it?” He scrunches up his nose.

“Do you even know what _it_ is?” Castiel retorts, and Anna shrugs.

“Gabriel says he’s done it,” she says, and Castiel shoots Gabriel a look.

“She doesn’t know what it is!” Gabriel defends himself, and Castiel rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t do it, and neither has Gabriel. And you two won’t either, for a long, _long_ , time, hopefully.” He says.

“Well, what is it?” Sammy asks, and Gabriel bolts to his bedroom. Castiel walks up the stairs and ignores his little sister on the way there.

“I’m gonna ask dad!” Anna threatens, but her brothers slam their doors shut, and she and Sammy are left pouting in the hall.

Castiel checks his phone before he jumps into bed, and sees two missed calls and ten texts.

The first text is from Charlie, who wanted to let him know she made it home safely.

The other nine are from Dean. The missed calls are from him, too.

“ _Fuckin’ Lisa, fuckin’… Cas, she cheated on me, fuckin’ broke up with.. me, fuckin’… broke my heart,” he says in the voicemail. He sounds drunk. “’m at the football… the football field, will you come get me?”_

“Jesus Christ, Dean,” Castiel swears under his breath. Before he knows it, he’s running down the stairs and running into his dad’s work room.

“Cas, what’s wrong?”

“Dean makes stupid decisions and I have to be there to pick up the pieces,” Castiel says. “Can I borrow the car?” His father nods and tosses him the car keys.

“Be careful,” his dad calls out to him, but Castiel’s already half-way out of the door. He calls Dean before he turns on the car.

“Dean, are you still at the football field?” He asks when Dean picks up, and Dean slurs a nearly incoherent sentence.

“ _Ye—uh I th—yeah,_ ” he says. Castiel rolls his eyes, and starts up the car.

“I’m on my way. Do not even _think_ about moving, understand?”

“ _Cas, I—fuck I –_ “ the line disconnects.

“Fuck, _fuck!_ ” Castiel hits the steering wheel and takes off. He’s already giving Dean a lecture before he reaches the football field. But once he’s there, and sees the condition his best friend is in, he just pulls him to his feet and drags his half-conscious body to the car.

“My—my best… my fest bend.” Dean says as Castiel shoves him into the backseat on his side, and then slides himself into the drivers’ seat. He calls Dean’s mom, and waits for her to answer.

“ _Cas, is everything okay?_ ”

“Hi Aunt Mary, everything’s fine,” he lies. “Dean doesn’t feel too great, so he and Sammy are gonna stay here for the night. Is that alright?”

“ _Of course honey. Tell him I hope he feels better._ ” Castiel can tell his mom knows that he’s done something incredibly stupid, but knows better than to chide him right now.

“Love you Aunt Mary,” he says, and hangs up.

“So, so—lucky. To have—to have you,” Dean says, and Castiel grumbles.

“Shut the hell up until we get you back to my house.”

“Okay, Cas.” He says, sounding like he’s lost control of his jaw.

When he finally is able to drag Dean into his room, he grabs a bottle of water from his bedstand and spills it on top of his friend’s head.

“Fuck, Cas! Fuck you!” He says, wiping his face off, but Castiel isn’t having any of his shit.

“Fuck _me?_ Fuck you!” Castiel pulls him to his feet and sets him on the bed.

“Cas, please don’t hate me,” he says, and Castiel starts to take off his shoes.

“I could never hate you,” he says quietly, pulling his socks off, and Dean laughs.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” he says, and Castiel sits him up, and pulls his jacket off.

“You’re brilliant, Dean. A genius. But you do so many stupid things it’s hard to keep track.”

“You said a bad word,” Dean giggles. “Stupid.” Dean slumps forward, his face smashed against Castiel’s chest. “What the fuck happened to us, Cas? We used to be so close.”

“We grew up. You found out your best friend is your penis.” Dean laughs.

“No, Cas, you’re my best friend. Forever.” He reaches up and strokes Castiel’s cheek.

“You’re my best friend, too, Dean. That’s why I’m gonna ask you to change into dry clothes and then sleep off the alcohol. I’ll sleep in the guest room.”

“You can sleep in the bed with me,” Dean says, and starts taking his clothes off. There’s a half-naked Dean Winchester in his room, asking him to come to bed.

“You’re drunk,” Cas says, and his voice feels strained. “I don’t want you to puke on me.” Dean laughs, and pulls his pants off, collapsing onto his back after getting the jeans to his knees. “Get those for me, Cas. Please.” Castiel walks over, and focuses on Dean’s knees as he pulls his pants off.

“Go to bed. I’ll be in the guest bedroom.” He says. “There’s water on the table.” He averts his eyes until he gets to the door, and then looks back. Dean’s body is muscular, and his jaw is chiseled. His lips are full and red, and he’s the most beautiful thing Castiel’s ever seen.

“G’night, Cas,” Dean says softly, and pulls the blanket over his body. Castiel flicks the light off and closes the door, and ignores Sammy, Anna, and Gabriel’s questions as he trudges to the guest bedroom.

“Goodnight,” he says sternly, and slams the door in their faces. If they want answers, they can talk to Dean in the morning.


	13. The Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When did you become such a prick?”
> 
> “About the same time you started thinking with yours,” Castiel shoots back, and Dean glares at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is it for today, I gotta go to bed. Goodnight! Enjoy!!

Castiel wakes up the next morning in a foreign bed, and remembers precisely why he’s there. A more-than-half-naked Dean Winchester is in his bed. Against his deepest wishes, he feels his body heat up, and clenches his eyes out and imagines the way Dean looks when he’s drunk and slobbering on the back seat of his dad’s car.

Eventually, that does the trick, and he rolls out of the guest bed and walks to his room, and knocks on the door. He hears an unintelligible “ewhwauuh?” from the other side, and opens the door.

“How are you, Dean?!” He chirps, and Dean groans and hides his face in the pillow.

“Jesus fuck, Cas, why are you yelling?” He sits up and looks down at himself. “And why am I naked in your bed?” Castiel raises an eyebrow at him. Dean just stares back. “Well?”

“Are you gonna ask me if you invited me into bed with you last night? Because you did.” Castiel walks over to his closet and throws clothes in Dean’s direction. When he turns back to his friend, he notices the red flush up Dean’s neck. It’s so shockingly sexy Castiel forgets he’s mad at Dean for a moment.

“Sorry,” he says, and slips Castiel’s clothes on. He grabs his phone off of the dresser, and looks at the messages he sent from last night. “Oh,” he says.

“Oh?”

“Lisa broke up with me,” he presses his fingers on his temples. “And I got really drunk. And I called you…” he stops and tilts his head at his phone.

“What?”

“It took you three hours to call me back?” He looks up at Castiel. “What the hell were you doing for three hours without your phone?”

“He was doing it with Charlie,” Anna says, her head peeking into the room. “He won’t tell me what ‘it’ is though?”

“Anna, get out!” Castiel throws a pair of balled up socks at her, and slams the door in her face. He looks back at Dean and sees a flicker of sadness across his face.

“You had sex with Charlie?” He says, and Castiel shakes his head.

“We were just making out,” Castiel shrugs. Dean scoffs.

“For three hours?” He says incredulously.  Castiel tilts his chin up and smiles.

“We are _very_ passionate people,” he says, and leaves it at that. “Actually, I gotta call her. I’m staying home and taking care of,” he waves his hands at Dean. “Whatever you’ve got going on.”

“I don’t need a _babysitter_ ,” he says, his eyes narrowed, and Castiel gives him a pointed look.

“Dean, you were so drunk you asked me to take off your _pants_ for you!” Dean flushes red and looks away.

“What the hell else did I do?” He mumbles, and shakes his head when Castiel opens his mouth. “No, don’t tell me.”

“I’m going out into the kitchen to call my girlfriend,” he says. “Go wash your face, or get a shower… or something productive.” He doesn’t miss Dean’s ashamed face before he leaves the room. He calls Charlie on his way down to the kitchen.

“ _Captain Cas,_ ” she says in a bubbly voice. “ _How can I help you?_ ”

“Hey Charlie,” he sighs. Charlie laughs.

“ _Whoa, hooo, not upset about… yesterday, right?_ ” She asks, and she sounds upset.

“Of course not, no, that was… that was awesome. No,” he laughs. “Augh, Charlie, I had to pick up Dean, _drunk_ , at the football field last night. He’s hungover, and I’m staying home to look after him.”

“ _Cas, you can’t put your life on hold for him,_ ” Charlie says sadly, and Castiel leans against the kitchen sink and sighs.

“I know, I know, I just… I just wanted you to know. In case you looked for me and I wasn’t there.”

“ _You goofball, of course I would have looked for you. You’re my boyfriend._ ” Charlie says, and Castiel smiles.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’m gonna go check up on him. Captain Cas out.” He says.

“ _Text me!_ ” She says, and hangs up. Castiel turns, and Dean is standing in the doorway, looking sadder than ever.

“Dean,” Castiel says. “I didn’t know you were there.”

“You don’t have to bother with me. I know I’m a fuck-up.”

“ _Language_ ,” Castiel chides, as Sammy and Anna pass through the kitchen. He grabs Dean and drags him upstairs. “Gabriel!” He calls, and his older brother peeks his head out of his door.

“Dean-o!” Gabriel shouts, and Dean flinches. “Hungover, are we?”

“Gabe, can you walk Anna and Sammy to school? I’m staying here,” Castiel says, motioning to Dean. Gabriel nods.

“You’re lucky it’s on my way to work, little bro,” he winks at Castiel and then turns his head towards the stairs. “HEY WONDERTWINS, WE LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES!” He screams, and Dean closes his eyes and flinches into Castiel’s arm.

“Why does everyone have to scream today?” He whimpers, and Castiel pulls him into his room.

“Okay, explain to me, _why_ you got so drunk that you passed out under the bleachers on the football field.” Castiel demands, and Dean isn’t too hungover to make a comment.

“Wouldn’t you rather hear me explain how I got onto the football field while I was already blackout drunk?” He laughs. Castiel claps his hands by his ear.

“Dean.” He says, simply, but with enough force that Dean looks up at him, and he sees the four-year-old boy he met all those years ago. His hand itches to find its way to Dean’s, but he remains still.

“I was upset, and she was gone, and you’re with Charlie, and I was alone.” Dean says, and Castiel’s heart softens. “You weren’t answering my texts, so I started drinking,” Dean’s eyes fill to the brim with tears. “And then you ignored my phone calls, so I drank some more.” He reaches out his hand and hesitantly puts it over Castiel’s. “I’ve been driving my best friend away for years,” he says, and his voice is wobbling. Castiel looks at him with big, sad eyes, and smiles.

“Dean, you’re my best friend. You always will be. Nothing will ever change that. Even when you act like a total assbutt.”

“Assbutt?” Dean laughs, and a tear trickles from his eye. Castiel reaches out and wipes it from his face before his mind can register what’s happening. But Dean doesn’t flinch away from his touch. He presses his face into Castiel’s palm, and starts to cry. Castiel steps forward and pulls Dean into a hug, letting his friend sob into his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Dean,” he says, and rubs his back. “Everything will be okay.”

 

Dean finally gets into the shower, and Castiel makes him tomato rice soup to sip on. They sit on the couch and watch daytime television all day, and Dean is nothing but questions.

“I still don’t understand how you were making out with Charlie for _three_ hours,” he says. Castiel smiles, and shrugs.

“She has really nice lips. And really soft skin, and silky hair, and –“

“Okay, thanks for that,” Dean says, and Castiel chuckles. “But you guys don’t even kiss at school.”

“Why do you think we kiss for three hours after school?” He says, and he may be laying it on a little thick, but Dean makes out with girls in front of his locker every day at school. “We’re _starving_ for it by the time we get out of that place.”

“Is she a good kisser?” Dean asks, and Castiel rolls his eyes.

“You’re acting like I have anything to compare it to,” he says.

“Are you guys tongue kissing?”

“Dean, why do you even care? You’ve kissed every girl in that school.”

“You’re my friend… I’m curious.” Dean says, and Castiel shakes his head.

“Do you want to watch us?” Castiel asks. “You could sit on the bed, take notes—“

“Okay, Cas, whatever.”

“—give us pointers, hey, maybe even _join in_ ,” he says, and Dean rolls his eyes.

“When did you become such a prick?”

“About the same time you started thinking with yours,” Castiel shoots back, and Dean glares at him.

“You used to hold my hand and pretend to be invisible. What happened to you?” Dean asks, and Castiel’s stomach flops.

“The bittersweet taste of life, my dear friend.” Castiel mimics smoking a cigarette, and winks at Dean. They’re quiet for a while, minus Dean’s slurping of the soup. By the time Dean talks again, Castiel forgets for a second all of the stuff between them.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Cas,” he says, and grabs Castiel’s pinky with his own. Castiel swallows down the butterflies trying to escape from his stomach and squeezes his friend’s pinky with his own.

“I’ll always be here for you, Dean. Cross my heart and hope to die.”


	14. The Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now I can see how you two made out for three hours yesterday,” Dean grumbles, and Charlie turns to Castiel.
> 
> “Don’t tell him things like that. We don’t know what goes on in that depraved mind of his,” she says, and kisses Dean on the forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 9:53 A.M and I have a new chapter for you guys. <3 Enjoy!

Later that afternoon, the front door slams open, and Dean retracts his pinky from Castiel’s. They hear Sammy and Anna arguing, and the very bubbly voice of Charlie.

“Marco!” She yells, and Castiel leans his head back and laughs.

“Polo!” He answers, and she bounces in the room, her smile bright and warm. She walks towards Castiel.

“Spiderman kiss?” She asks, and Castiel pouts his lips. She leans over him and plants her lips firmly on his, and he parts his lips and tilts her head. Kissing upside-down isn’t unpleasant, but her hair tickles his face, and her chin presses into his forehead. They kiss for a moment, until Dean clears his throat, and then they part, and look over at him. He looks embarrassed, and Castiel thinks for the first time that maybe Dean understands why Charlie yells at him in the hallways when he’s making out with girls against the lockers.

“Payback,” Castiel says, and smiles.

“Now I can see how you two made out for three hours yesterday,” Dean grumbles, and Charlie turns to Castiel.

“Don’t tell him things like that. We don’t know what goes on in that depraved mind of his,” she says, and kisses Dean on the forehead. “How are you doing, anyway?” Dean shrugs.

“Castiel is a good babysitter,” he says, and Charlie grins at him.

“Of course he is, look at him,” she gestures to him and Castiel puts on a big smile. “He’s a pretty package filled with good stuff. A real-life Christmas present.” She grabs his hand. “Come upstairs with me, I have something to tell you,” she says, and she bounces from foot to foot while he gets up.

“Let me guess… you’re the next Virgin Mary and you’re carrying our child,” he says, and reaches for her stomach. Charlie slaps his hand away and laughs.

“You idiot, no, come with me,” she’s already dragging him up the stairs.

“We’ll be just a minute,” Castiel calls down to Dean, but he keeps his eyes on the television and doesn’t respond. When they’re both in Castiel’s room and the door is closed behind them, Charlie starts to squeal with excitement. Then, she pulls Castiel by his shirt and kisses him with a new, raw passion. Castiel pulls away after a moment and gives her one of his best confused looks.

“You know that Dorothy girl?” Charlie starts to explain, and Castiel nods.

“The one with the leather jackets and the tattoo on her back?” Castiel nods. “Pretty sure I couldn’t forget her if I tried.” She made waves at the beginning of the school year by streaking through the football field with nothing _but_ her leather jacket on.

“Well, I think she’s into me!” Charlie says, and Castiel meets her excited look with another one of his confused looks.

“Not sure if I’m understanding why you want to kiss _me_ because a girl likes _you_ ,” he says, and Charlie rolls her eyes.

“God, Cas, you should be happy for me!” She says, and he grabs her shoulders.

“Charlie, I’m ecstatic for you,” he says. “But why are _we_ making out when you could be making out with _her_?”

“For practice, remember?” She says, and rushes forward and kisses him again. Castiel decides it’s impossible to follow her train of thought, and kisses back. Her hands race up his back, and she wraps her legs around his waist.

“Charlie, Jesus,” Castiel says between kisses. He pushes her against the wall. “You’re gonna break my back if you jump on me like that.”

“Sorry,” she says, but she’s attacking his lips, not sounding sorry at all. Castiel holds the small of her back, and he kisses her face, down to her neck. “Cas, geez, where did you learn this?” She asks, and then she gasps and hits his arm.

“What, what?” He says, and pulls away, and she’s staring at the door, where a very pale Dean Winchester is standing, watching them. “Dean,” Castiel says, but Dean darts out of the room. Castiel lets Charlie slide back down to the floor, and chases after his friend. “Dean!” He sees his friend at the bottom of the steps, sitting down. He makes his way down slowly, and sits next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says quietly. “I shoulda knocked.”

“Are you alright? You looked awfully pale. Do you need me to get you anything? I could heat up more soup—“

“No, Cas, I’m sorry, I was just—my mom called and she said to get home, and I came up to tell you I was leaving, and – man I just,” he stops mid-sentence. “I didn’t mean to walk in on that,” he says, and he sounds genuinely sorry.

“It’s alright, Dean. It’s not like Charlie and I have any problem with public displays of affection. Neither do you, really.” He pats his friend’s back. “No harm, no foul.” Dean says nothing, but nods.

“I’m gonna grab Sammy and go home,” he says, and gets up and walks up the stairs, past Charlie, who’s red-faced and apologizing to Dean, too.

“Is he okay?” She asks, and Castiel shrugs. After a minute, Charlie says, “do you wanna go back into your room?”

They pass Dean and Sammy on the way back upstairs, and Dean won’t make eye contact with either of them.

“Bye guys!” Sammy says, and Dean gives them a curt nod.

“What’s that about,” Gabriel peeks his head through his bedroom door. The two of them shrug and walk to his room.

The next day, Dean is dating Tessa McKeon, and they don’t speak of the incident again.


	15. Another Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week, the buzz of Charlie and Dorothy hooking up is a thing of the past and the attention is focused on the new exchange student from England.
> 
> Balthazar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 11:22 and I'm posting another chapter!! Oh buddy... enjoy!! <3

“So, how do we break up,” Charlie asks one day, and Castiel laughs. “We could have an all-out screaming match in the middle of the atrium,” she suggests.

“You could throw your lunch on me and walk off into the distance. People would clap, probably,” Castiel says, and Charlie chews it over.

“Or, maybe we just say ‘it’s over’, and then we can still be friends at school,” she says, and Castiel grins.

“I think that sounds like the best plan,” he agrees, and Charlie giggles.

“I can’t believe I’m actually going to have a _girlfriend_!” She says, and bounces on Castiel’s bed. “This summer is going to be totally rad,” she gushes on, and Castiel shrugs.

“Who am I gonna hang out with when you’re sucking face with Dorothy and Dean’s sucking face with Tessa?” He asks, and Charlie crinkles her nose.

“Speaking of Tessa,” she says seriously, and Castiel narrows his eyes at her.

“She isn’t a lesbian too, is she?” He jokes, and Charlie punches him in the arm.

“Castiel James, I will end you,” she says, pointing her finger at him, and he puts his hands up in surrender.

“What about her, then?” Castiel asks, and collapses on his bed, laying his head in her lap. She brushes the hair out of his eyes and looks down at him.

“She looks… an awful lot like you, don’t you think?” She says, and Castiel scoffs.

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to find the female equivalent of me,” Castiel says, but Charlie isn’t laughing.

“I think Dean may be,” she says, and Castiel swears his heart stops in his chest.

“You think Dean is subconsciously dating someone who looks like me,” he deadpans, and Charlie grimaces.

“It certainly looks like it,” she says, and Castiel rolls his eyes.

“Dean is a lost cause for me, Charlie, so don’t get my hopes up. You’ll break this already achy-breaky one I’ve got in my chest.” Charlie sighs.

“I’m not saying it’s for sure,” she says. “I’ve just got a feeling.”

“If I could live in your head for _one day_ ,” Castiel starts, and Charlie falls back on his bed. “I’m gonna miss hanging out with you, Charlie,” he says softly, and finds her hand and laces his fingers through hers.

“I’m gonna miss you, too, Cas,” she whispers back.

 

At the start of their eleventh grade year, Charlie comes back with a new girlfriend and a lot of people asking her questions. Dean asks them questions.

_"You're a lesbian? But what about Cas?"_

_"Cas, how can you be okay with her just breaking up with you like that?"_

_"Did she cheat on you?"_

_"Did you know about this?"_

_"What is happening?"_

Eventually, they explain that Charlie just wasn't interested in boys, and that even though she thought she loved Castiel in  _that way_ , she didn't. Their break-up was friendly. _  
_

People are all asking Castiel questions too, like if he knew his girlfriend of almost five years was a lesbian, and if he hated her.

“I love Charlie,” he replies. “She’s my best friend.” And they still are. He sits with the couple at lunch and hangs out with them after school. After a week, the buzz of Charlie and Dorothy hooking up is a thing of the past and the attention is focused on the new exchange student from England.

Balthazar.

He is a tall, lean blonde, who wears tight pants and low dipping v-neck shirts. He walks around with an air of confidence, and Castiel is absolutely smitten with him.

Unfortunately, so are all of the other girls. He’s never seen with one hanging off of his arm, and Castiel admits defeat once again, and curses himself for only being attracted to unavailable guys.

But that doesn’t stop him from looking. Balthazar and he share the same classes, the same lunch, and seems to show up wherever Castiel is. So, he spends a lot of his time raking his eyes up and down the incredibly hot man.

“Cas, you’re gonna stare holes through that guy’s ass,” Charlie whispers behind him, and Dorothy laughs a sharp, loud sound. Balthazar looks over at them. Castiel feels his face heat up, and turns to the couple and glares.

“I love you, but I hate you,” he says to them, and slams his head on Charlie’s desk. Charlie taps him on the shoulder repeatedly, and he whips his head up at her. “Charlie, I _swear to God_ I will—“ He says, and then he looks up to where Charlie is standing.

“Castiel, right?” Balthazar is looking down at him. Castiel wants to die.

“Y-yeah,” he says, and Balthazar smiles at him.

“Eat lunch with me today, yeah?” He says, and Castiel nods stupidly.

“Okay,” he says, and Balthazar gives him a wave and walks off, swinging his hips as he does.

“Holy shit,” Charlie says, and punches his shoulder. “You have a date!” She whispers. Castiel shakes his head.

“I have a lunch appointment with a fellow student,” he says, and Dorothy rolls her eyes.

“You have a date, with that hot piece of ass, right there,” she says, and grins at him. Castiel slams his head on the desk.

“Fuck me,” he says.

“Maybe Balth will,” Charlie whispers, and Dorothy does her loud, sharp laugh again.

 

"Hey, Cas, eat lunch with us today," Dean says, his arm around Tessa. He smiles at the two of them.

"I'm having lunch with Balthazar today, sorry," he says. Dean pouts and Tessa tilts her head.

"He's not eating with the gaggle of geese he usually eats with?" Tessa asks. Castiel shrugs.

"He asked me to eat lunch with him. I'm being friendly," he says, and Dean claps a hand on his shoulder.

"You're a good man, Castiel Shurley," he says, and he and Tessa laugh as they walk away.

"I need a good man," he whispers under his breath once he knows they're out of hearing distance, and smiles at his own joke.

 

As Castiel walks to the cafeteria, he feels himself getting nervous. He doesn't know why Balthazar wants to eat lunch with him. Maybe he's sick of seeing Castiel stare at him and is going to ask him to stop. Maybe he wants Castiel to ask Charlie and Dorothy if he can join them in a threesome.

He doesn't have much time to worry though, because right before he gets to the cafeteria, Balthazar swings his arm around Castiel's shoulder and leads him in the opposite direction.

"Let's take a walk, you and I," he says, and Castiel feels himself blushing.

"Okay," he squeaks. There are butterflies catching fire inside of his stomach, and his entire body feels like it's on fire. 

"I haven't seen the  _back_ of the school yet..." Balthazar says, and they exit the building, and walk back behind the school.

"So, this is it," Castiel says lamely, and the other man laughs at him.

"You're funny," he says. "I like that." And then he presses Castiel into the brick wall and kisses him.

Castiel's insides explode with feeling. This is  _nothing_ like kissing Charlie. It's so much more, but not enough. He loves the feeling of the other man's chest on his, the muscular tone of his arms, his large hands holding his arms. He loves the scrape of Balthazar's scruff on his face as they kiss, the clashing of teeth and tongue and excited breaths. He arches his back and slots the rest of his body against Balthazar's. The taller man grabs Castiel's leg and pulls him, and Castiel swings his leg around Balthazar's waist. Balthazar ruts against Castiel, and he moans as his head tips back onto the building wall.

"Fuck," he says, and Balthazar ravages his neck. He opens his eyes --

And Dean is there, staring at them, eyes wide and mouth open. He's even paler now than when he caught Castiel and Charlie in nearly the same position.

" _Shit,_ " Castiel hisses, and pushes Balthazar away. Dean clenches his fists and speeds in the opposite direction.

"Boyfriend?" Balthazar asks, calmly, and Castiel shakes his head.

"He used to be my best friend," Castiel says sadly. He doesn't know if that's true anymore.


	16. Beyond Fixing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We gotta talk,” he says, anger in his voice, and Castiel’s panic fades away, and is replaced with the same kind of anger.
> 
> “Please, come in without so much as a warning of your arrival. You know how well that works out for you, right?” He shoots back at him, and Dean clenches his jaw so tight Castiel thinks he might break his teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I should take this time to remind everyone that this has a happy ending... Enjoy?? <3

Castiel gives a quick apology to Balthazar and speeds off back to the cafeteria. Dean is nowhere to be found. Instead, he rushes off towards Charlie and grabs her arm.

“I need to speak to you,” he says, in a hushed, serious tone. “Alone,” he adds, looking at Dorothy. She gives him a look, but stays where she is. He pulls Charlie outside and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Oh, God,” he says. “Oh _God_ ,” he feels Charlie’s hands on his shoulders, and he looks at her with big, panicked eyes.

“What is going on?” She asks, and tilts her head at him. “Were you…” Her eyes get wide and she gasps. “Were you making out with Balth?!”

“Yes,” Castiel says, his voice strained.

“That’s great!” Charlie says, and then sees that Castiel’s face is still a grimace. “Or not. What happened? Was he a bad kisser?”

“No, he was… great,” Castiel says.

“That’s great!” She says again, and yet, Castiel clenches his eyes shut and keeps the grimace on his face. “Or not,” she adds again. “What is the problem?”

“Dean saw us,” Castiel says, and he bends over and starts taking deep breaths. “Oh _God_ , oh my God, oh fuck,” he says, and Charlie rubs his back.

“Oh my God,” she agrees. Castiel whimpers and stands back up.

“What do I do?!”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing! He just… ran away!”

“Oh, God,” Charlie breathes out, and Castiel covers his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she says, and wraps her arms around his middle. “Stop freaking out, okay. Maybe Dean will completely forget.”

“Char _lie!_ ” He whines, and the next thing he knows, he’s crying into her shoulder. He skips out on the rest of the day and walks home; asks Charlie to walk Sammy and Anna home. She agrees, and he spends the rest of his afternoon in his room, lying in bed, listening to music.

Until Dean barges into his room, looking somewhere between pissed off and confused, and Castiel sits up with a yelp, yanking the earbuds out of his ears.

“We gotta talk,” he says, anger in his voice, and Castiel’s panic fades away, and is replaced with the same kind of anger.

“Please, come in without so much as a warning of your arrival. You know how well that works out for you, right?” He shoots back at him, and Dean clenches his jaw so tight Castiel thinks he might break his teeth.

“Why the _fuck_ were you kissing Balthazar?” He asks, and Castiel shakes his head.

“ _Why_ was I kissing him?”

“Yes, Cas, why were you kissing him?’ He hisses, and Castiel can’t even fathom this idiotic question. “Was he attacking you?” Dean’s voice softens.

“Did it look like he was attacking me?” He asks, and Dean looks at the ground.

“Then, what? Are you having a big gay freak out because your ex-girlfriend is a lesbian?” Castiel feels himself explode.

“Jesus, Dean! Are you blind or naïve? I was kissing him because I _wanted_ to. Because I’m _gay_!” He screams at him. “I’ve always been gay! And so has Charlie. We dated because we didn’t want you to know,” he says with venom in his voice, and Dean takes a step back, his eyes softening.

“What?” He says, and Castiel’s heart would have broken if it hadn’t the second he saw Dean’s face when he was kissing Balthazar. “You two _lied_ to me… for five years?”

“If you had taken more than five minutes from sticking your hands down some girls’ pants, you would have seen it. Maybe we would have even thought you’d be okay with it.”

“Of course I would have been okay with it! You’re my best friend!”

“Fucking best friends,” Castiel says, and he can’t stop himself. “I’m only your best friend when you need someone to take care of you.” Dean flinches back as if Castiel’s punched him, and he bites his lip to stop himself from crying. “What were you even doing back there? Following me? Why?” Dean turns to him, and tears trickle from his eyes.

“I was worried about you,” he says. “I wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt you.” Castiel’s insides turn to mush, and for the first time since kindergarten, he presses his face into his hands and becomes invisible.

 

Castiel is a shitty person. He lies in bed for a long time after Dean storms out of the house, and pays no attention to Gabriel’s soothing words, or Anna and Sammy’s questioning if he was okay.

Eventually, there’s a knock on his door, and his father walks in, big, blue eyes, and sad smile on his face.

“Heya, bub,” he says, and Castiel’s eyes start to tear up again.

“I really fucked up, dad,” he says, and his father is at his side, brushing the hair out of his face and shushing his son’s tears.

“Nothing’s ever beyond fixing,” he says, and Castiel scoffs.

“You don’t even know what happened,” Castiel says, and rubs the tears off of his face.

“I know you love Dean. And I know that you never dated Charlie. I know that you’re gay, and that you’re terrified your best friend will reject you because of it,” he says, and Castiel’s mouth drops open.

“How…” he sighs, but his dad shakes his head.

“And I know, above all things, that when you’re angry, you say things you don’t mean, that sting, that aim to hurt people where you know they’ll hurt the most.” He gives Castiel a small smile. “And I know Dean knows that too.”

“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Castiel whispers, and his dad smiles.

“I think he’ll forgive you before you ever forgive yourself,” he says. They sit there in silence, and Castiel mulls over his words.

“Dad, were you in love with Mary?” He asks, and his dad lets out a surprised laugh.

“Yeah, and I backed off after John came here looking to kick my ass,” he said. “If I had fought for her, I think things would be a lot different. I think maybe she might have even loved me back.”

“Are you telling me to fight for Dean?” Castiel asks, and his father places his hand over his son’s heart.

“I’m saying, do whatever it takes to make you happy, and forget everyone else.”


	17. Something I'm Not Supposed to Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sam says Dean thinks you’re in love with Balthazar,” she says. “But that’s silly, right?”
> 
> “It’s very silly,” Castiel agrees, and gives Anna a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for self-destructive behavior, otherwise known as "teenage behavior" Enjoy! <3

“When are you and Dean gonna make up?” Sammy asks Castiel a month later, and Castiel feels his heart tighten in his chest. Sam’s not the chubby 12 year old kid he used to be, and he catches on to things faster than his brother ever could.

“I don’t think Dean is ready to forgive me just yet,” Castiel says, and Sam rolls his eyes.

“If you saw how Dean acts when you’re not around you’d think differently, too,” he says, and before Castiel can ask what he means, Sammy’s running off to play soccer outside with Anna and Gabriel. He reaches for his phone and goes through his contacts, stopping on Dean’s name. He hesitates, then goes back up, and holds his finger over Charlie’s name. He bites the inside of his lip, and then scrolls up farther. He presses the call button and waits for an answer.

“ _Hello_?” An English accent says over the phone, and Castiel closes his eyes.

“Hey, Balthazar. It’s Castiel,” he says. “Are you busy?”

 

Castiel loses himself when he’s with Balthazar. The man has no qualms or hesitations about what he wants, and Castiel loves the feeling of letting someone else take control for a while. Balthazar kisses him without reason or logic, and Castiel sinks farther and farther into the passionate nature of the man.

So, if once or twice a week he leaves Balthazar’s house feeling relaxed, no one can really blame him.

“Don’t fall in love with me,” Balthazar whispers into Castiel’s mouth, but even he knows Castiel won’t. He’s in love with someone else.

“Don’t miss me when you leave,” Castiel says back, smiling, and Balthazar wraps him up in strong, bare arms, and guides him into his lap. Balthazar is his drug of choice, and Castiel knows he’ll never have to call someone to save him from this high.

 

“Are you in love with Balthazar?” Anna asks him when he gets home one day, and Castiel feels the pit in his stomach grow.

“How do you know about Balthazar?” He asks, ignoring her question, and Anna looks down before answering him.

“Sam says Dean thinks you’re in love with Balthazar,” she says. “But that’s silly, right?”

“It’s very silly,” Castiel agrees, and gives Anna a small smile. “Balthazar is going back to his own country at the end of the month anyway,” he shrugs. Anna’s whole face brightens.

“Then you and Dean can make up and be best friends again!” She says, and Castiel nods.

“Maybe,” he says quietly, and locks himself in his room until the morning.

 

When Balthazar leaves, Castiel doesn’t see him off. He calls Charlie and tells her about his rendezvous with the man, and while she understands the need for contact, she tells him that he needs to do something about Dean.

“ _He drunk dials me nearly every week_ ,” she says. “ _His words are so slurred all I ever hear is your name, and Balth’s, and sometimes Tessa’s. He’s really fucked up_.”

“He needs time to hate me,” Castiel says, and rubs his forehead. “What would he even do if I texted him or called him up?”

“ _You’ll never know unless you try it out,_ ” she says. Castiel can’t find fault with her thinking this time around.

So, when they hang up, he pulls up a new message and texts Dean.

**_Can we talk?_ **

They meet up fifteen minutes later at the park, and sit on the picnic table under the pavilion. Castiel hugs his knees to his chest, and Dean breaks apart a stick he picked up off of the ground.

“What did you want to—“ Dean asks as Castiel starts to say “I don’t even know where to—“ and they both stop and look at each other. Dean looks so sad, all of the inner child he used to carry around with him completely gone. It sends a sharp pain to Castiel’s chest, and he hugs his knees tighter to his chest and hides his face into his legs. Dean lets out a noise strangely like a laugh, and Castiel’s head shoots up to look at him.

“I miss you so goddamn much it hurts, Cas,” he says, and Castiel feels his eyes burn with tears. His bottom lip wobbles, and he’s hiding his face in his hands, letting out harsh sobs.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” Castiel says. “I never meant any of the stupid shit I said to you,” he manages to get out between sobs, and he feels Dean wrap his arms around him, feels Dean’s chin on the top of his head.

“I overreacted,” Dean says. “You were scared to tell me something and I reacted exactly the way you thought.” Big droplets of water plunk onto the top of Castiel’s head. Castiel lets go of his knees and wraps them around Dean, instead, and for a long time, they sit and hold each other.

“You are my best friend, Dean,” he says, and grasps Dean’s shirt in his hands. “And you’re the best best friend I could ask for, and I’m stupid, and I love you, and—“ he’s cut off by Dean squeezing the breath out of him.

“I love you too,” he whispers back harshly, and he shudders and coughs out a sob, relaxing into his friend’s embrace. They pull apart with the weight of the world lifted from their shoulders, and Castiel tilts his head.

“You wanna sleep over?” He asks, and Dean smiles so hard Castiel thinks he might crack.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, and they walk back to his house, arms pressed against each other’s.

For the first time since fourth grade, they curl up in the same bed, facing each other, and Castiel feels as if things are finally right. Until Dean’s hand cradles Castiel’s cheek, and he’s leaning in to kiss Castiel.

“Dean,” Castiel says, and holds his friend’s shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Something I’m not supposed to do,” he says, and Castiel flashes back in time, to his friend kissing his hands and telling him he wanted to marry him. His heart stops in his chest, and Dean closes the distance between them.

Dean’s lips are warm, and full, and insistent, and Castiel doesn’t resist. He should, he knows he should, but Dean is so tender, and treating him like he’s something fragile, like he doesn’t want to break him, and he puts his hand on Dean’s arm and kisses back, kisses the way he’s never kissed Charlie, or Balthazar, and his chest explodes with white fire, it sears his being, and when they pull away from each other, and Castiel looks into Dean’s sparkling green eyes, he swears he sees God. They fall asleep facing each other, loose limbs and warm puffs of breath mingling with one another’s. 


	18. No More Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m in love with you,” Castiel says, and nips at Dean’s bottom lip. “I think I always have been,” he says, and runs his fingertips down Dean’s back. “Ever since I saw you running around with that bucket on your head,” Dean laughs, and pulls Castiel into his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eheueheheueh <3 Enjoy!!

In the morning, Castiel wakes up to Dean’s lips on his face.

“Mmm,” he hums, and nuzzles into Dean, letting the man kiss down his neck. He stops suddenly, and draws the pad of his thumb against his collarbone.

“What’s this?” He asks, and Castiel opens his eyes to see what he’s talking about. It’s a hickey, courtesy of Balthazar. Castiel looks up at Dean, who’s wearing a pained expression on his face.

“Did you fuck Balthazar?”

“Dean,” Castiel starts, and Dean sits up.

“Did you fuck him?” He asks again, a harsh, hushed whisper, and Castiel covers his eyes with his hand.

“Yes,” he says, and Dean jumps out of his bed. “Jesus, Dean, what is your problem?”

“You fucked _him_ ,” Dean says, and Castiel still doesn’t understand.

“Did you fuck Lisa?” Castiel asks. “Did you fuck Tessa? How many girls have you had sex with? And what does it matter?” He says, and swings his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up.

“That’s different,” Dean says, rubbing his face, and Castiel purses his lips.

“Explain, then. How is it different?”

“It just _is_ , Cas.”

“So you can have sex with as many people as you like, but I do it with _one_ person, and—“

“Were you in love with him?” Dean asks, and Castiel laughs.

“Dean, we were on strict terms that we weren’t going to do that,” he says. “He made me forget, and he knew that’s what it was.”

“So he’s not going to come around and kick my ass?” Dean says, narrowing his eyes in a dubious fashion. Castiel shakes his head.

“He flew back to England yesterday, so probably not.” Wrong thing to say, Castiel thought, as he watched Dean’s face wrench up.

“You lost him, so you came running to me,” Dean says, nodding. Castiel stands up and walks in front of the door.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Castiel says, and Dean won’t meet his gaze. “I didn’t come to you so you’d come hook up with me, Dean. And what even was that? Do you have feelings for me, or are you having some ‘big gay freak out’, because I don’t want to waste my time on someone who doesn’t care.”

“How can you say I don’t care?” Dean whispers harshly, and he moves to walk past Castiel.

“No,” Castiel says, and stands with his back pressed against the door. “No running.”

“Let me through, Cas,” Dean says, and Castiel tilts his chin up at him.

“No. We fight, and then I don’t see you for, what, another couple of months? No dice. We’re settling this, and we’re gonna make up, and then we’re gonna move on.” Castiel says, and Dean clenches his jaw, and sits on the edge of Castiel’s bed.

“What do we talk about?”

“How about we start with the alcohol abuse,” Castiel says, and crosses his arms.

“Why don’t we start with Balthazar?” Dean shoots back, and Castiel shakes his head.

“A different drug of choice,” he says. “Not nearly as dangerous as drinking yourself into the gutter.”

“You’re addicted to sex, then?”

“Why do you drink, Dean? Because you’re addicted?”

“I drink because it makes me forget about you!” He shouts, and then presses his head into his hands.

“How is that any different than me going out and being with Balthazar to forget about _you_?” Castiel says, and Dean looks up again. They stare at each other, and finally Dean sighs.

“I’m overreacting again, aren’t I?” Dean says, and Castiel chuckles.

“You’ve always been an ‘all-or-nothing’ kind of person,” Castiel says, and Dean stands up and walks over to him.

“We’ve got a lot more to talk about, don’t we?” Dean says, and links pinkies with Castiel.

“You might wanna start by telling me when you started having feelings for me,” Castiel says, and Dean flushes red.

“It seems like it’s been a while,” Dean says, and Castiel raises an eyebrow. Dean realizes he has to elaborate, and smiles at his feet. “I think I started noticing when you told me you made out with Charlie for three hours,” he says, and then his eyebrows furrow. “That was real, right?”

“That was extremely real,” he says, and recalls that night in its entirety. Dean nods and continues.

“Then you were kissin’ in front of me, and then I walked in on you two makin’ out, and… for a while, I thought maybe I was in love with _Charlie_ , and then, I saw you with Balthazar, and I just… I lost it. I saw you bein’ kissed and thrusted on, and I realized I was fuckin’ in love with you.”

Castiel’s heart nearly jumps out of his chest. Dean isn’t finished.

“And when I looked at Tessa, all I saw were those fuckin’ blue eyes, and fuck that should have tipped me off that I was in love with you, but she isn’t you, and I think I ended up tellin’ her that and she stormed off, and I was alone, and you hated me, and—“

Castiel pulls Dean to him and kisses him with a hunger in his soul.

“You’re in love with me?” He kisses against Dean’s lips, and Dean presses him into the door.

“I’m so fuckin’ in love with you, Cas, I don’t know what to do with myself. All I think about is you, kissin’ you, touchin’ you,” he grinds his hips into Castiel’s. “And that, man I’ve thought about that a _lot_ ,” Dean sighs into Castiel’s mouth and Castiel shudders against him.

“I’m in love with you,” Castiel says, and nips at Dean’s bottom lip. “I think I always have been,” he says, and runs his fingertips down Dean’s back. “Ever since I saw you running around with that bucket on your head,” Dean laughs, and pulls Castiel into his arms.

“Fuckin’ romantic,” he says, and then leads Castiel back to the bed, and marks Castiel’s body for himself.

 

Later, they leave his room smiling and holding hands, and Sammy and Anna look at them in mutual disgust.

“Mom is gonna cry,” Sammy says. “She always wanted you to marry Cas,” he rolls his eyes.

“Dad bet me ten dollars they were gonna be boyfriends,” Anna says, and crosses her arms. “How the hell does he know everything?”

“I’m omnipotent,” Castiel’s dad calls from downstairs. “Like God,” he adds. 


	19. Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for being a part of this with me! I hope you enjoy the epilogue! <3 <3

Word gets around school that the kid that dated the lesbian for five years is dating noted womanizer Dean Winchester, and they’re small-town gossip for a long time. Dorothy and Charlie flank them at all times, dirty glares at anyone who attempts to say anything negative to them. Before they graduate, they form the school’s first LGBTQIA club, and by the end of the school year, their noteworthiness settles into every day Kansas life.

So it goes.

When they graduate high school, Dean and Castiel shift towards each other during the speeches.

“C and D have to be together,” Dean says winking at him, and Castiel laces his fingers through Dean’s.

“We should get pizza after this,” he says, and Dean laughs so loud the valedictorian stops to glare at him before continuing. They find their parents in the crowd, and wave. Dean’s mom is crying, and leaning her head on Castiel’s dad’s shoulder. Anna, Gabriel, and Sammy are all snapping pictures of them, and by the end of the very long, very boring ceremony, they do in fact get pizza.

“It seems like only yesterday you two were graduating pre-k,” Mary says, and starts crying again, and Chuck laughs and pats her on the back.

“Mary, you’re gonna get the pizza soggy,” he says, and she giggles and wipes her eyes. Gabriel is texting beside them, and Anna and Sammy are on the end of the table flicking pieces of paper at each other.

Dean laces his fingers through Castiel’s hands and smiles.

“Life is gonna be so easy with you by my side,” he says, and Castiel knows he’s right.

Dean is always right.


End file.
